Some tips from yoda for next meeting

You're in a meeting. One of your staff is talking. What they are saying, in your opinion, is way off base or just plain stupid. Of course, as a good leader, you interrupt and diplomatically correct your misguided staff person to get things quickly back on track. All is well. You've saved the day! Our hero! Yes, this is why you get the big salary, to jump in with well-informed opinions and to get results. As a leader superhero, your staff and other people expect you to jump in and "save their world". In fact, they count on it. Especially here in Thailand and Asia where the boss is expected to give the answer and tell them what to do. Because of this, just like Batman or Superman, your people will always wait for you to save them. They will always need you, and you will always be saving the meeting, the project, the customer … saving the day. And, like a superhero, there will be no vacation.

We'd like you to consider being a different superhero, more like Yoda from "Star Wars". He was a quiet, wise master who pushed, challenged and believed in his young apprentices. Rather than quote some vague philosophy, below we offer you a list of 11 specific things you can say or do to create more superheroes in your team. Let's set the context: you are in a team meeting, a group session, a one-on-one meeting, a problem-solving or in any interaction. You are about to open your mouth and do the Superhero thing. Instead, you start and continue your participation using one or more of these statements:

1. Tell me more ... or Tell me more about (the specific area or issue the person is sharing) …

2. Help me understand … why/how that happened … your approach to this … the process you followed … etc

3. What is another way you could have handled that situation to get a better result/outcome?

4. What is another way/option for approaching this person/project/problem?

5. Summarise for me what we've decided to do …

6. Let me see if I have a clear understanding of/Summarise … what you said … the situation; (you share your understanding) ... is that right?

7. Why do you think … that happened/they did that?

8. What 1/2/3 specific things could we/you do differently next time to improve this process/programme/project/result/ relationship/skill?

9. Tell me 2-3 things that would represent the … other person's/customer name… perspective?

10. Silence/long pause/nodding/, In other words, just listen!

11. Tell the group what you want for output (be specific) within what period of time and leave the room! And, tell them they can't leave until you get what you want.

Watch what happens. Continue to use these statements throughout the conversation. Warning! As a Leader Superhero, using these statements a lot will, at first, drain your superpower. Meaning, it is hard and awkward and sometimes frustrating because your people are not used to it. Why? Because they are forced to think for themselves. Yes, you aren't saving them, and it will be uncomfortable for everyone. However, you must be strong and very patient. It will take some time to get them used to getting Yoda-like questions and probes instead of directions and answers.

A not-so-very smart leader might say: "This takes too much time" or "My people won't know how to answer these statements/think that way." As a quieter, Yoda-type superhero leader, what would be the long-term benefit of really using these statements consistently and powerfully? A smart leader knows that, over time, their people will figure out that their superhero is asking the same questions, probing deeper and not saving them. They begin to learn the questions, probes and start asking themselves before you do. They start to sort things out and then check their thinking with you rather than coming to you for the answer. And, finally, they even figure problems/situations by themselves and not even check with you. At that point, as Yoda says, "the force will be strong in them" and you will be the wise master. The business impact? Faster decision-making, lower conflict, higher morale, lower turnover, quicker implementation/execution etc. Executives who I've coached to use this find that these statements actually save them time because they get much better information from which they can supply very specific guidance and coaching.

So, future Quiet Superhero Leaders, here is the challenge: copy the 11 statements above. For the next 30 days keep it on your desk and carry it with you. In every interaction with your people try to start with one of these statements and then try to use them often early in a conversation.

Give them to your staff and tell them you're going to use them. Don't say you will "try" it. As Yoda said to Luke Skywalker, "Try not. Do, or not do. There is no try." Just do it. Don't try to be perfect, just use them and be patient and encourage your people. You will get better, and your people will get used to it. Thirty days to transform yourself and the team around you: in these challenging times, you have nothing to lose.

After 30 days, send me an e-mail and let me know how it worked for you. For your efforts, I will send

you a more detailed version of the statements including advice on exactly which statements to use in common leadership situations.

This advanced version is only for those who are practising Quiet Superheroes. The regular Super-heroes won't understand it.

May the facilitative force be with you!

James Engel is an executive director and organisation learning-practice leader at the APM Group, a Thai organisation and people-development consultancy. Write to him at james_e@apm.co.th