Stand up to the bully next door

There is a saying in English, "You cannot choose your neighbour." Indeed, it seems luck can determine whether or not you have a good neighbour. If you are unlucky, you have to either put up with a bad neighbour or move. Perhaps that is why people say, "Neighbourhood is everything" when renting an apartment or purchasing a house.

Like many, I have experienced bad neighbours in the past. When I lived in the US, one of my neighbours was a college student who threw a wild party every other night, blasting music on his stereo. My unit was right above his, and my entire apartment literally shook whenever he held a party. I complained, but each time my grievances were ignored.

When I lived in a ranch-style house later, I also had a bad neighbour who seldom mowed his lawn, took out the garbage or shovelled the snow on the sidewalk. As a result, his house was always messy and unclean, sticking out like a sore thumb on the otherwise nice street. The neighbours hated him because his untidy house lowered the values of all the properties on the street.

Perhaps one's worst nightmare is living next to a bully who constantly harasses or threatens one's life. Such neighbours are rare in civilised societies these days. At school, however, bullies are quite common. The best way to deal with a bully is to stand up to him and fight him. If you succumb to his threats and try to bribe him with money, you will be at his mercy forever. The spirit of a gangster is broken only when he encounters a stronger gangster. And one who relies on physical strength will become docile only when he encounters a stronger person, whether physically or spiritually.

Another way of dealing with a bully is to convince the bully that bullying is not the most beneficial way to live, and joining the rest of civilised society is actually the most rewarding.

Unfortunately, South Korea has a bad neighbour called North Korea that constantly bullies with various threats. Recently, North Korea announced that it would nullify the armistice agreement that suspended the Korean War, and that it was fully ready to launch an all-out war against the South, with nuclear weapons. We know that North Korea is making such threats to secure an advantage when negotiating with the US, to protest the new round of UN sanctions and to stop the South's joint military exercises with the US. In addition, North Korean politicians childishly want to flex their muscles as a nuclear state. In the midst of all the threatening language, we know that North Korean politicians are simply instigating a verbal war, since actual war would be extremely costly.

Nevertheless, the North has got on our nerves this time, and we are worried it may stage political shows by attacking Yeonpyeongdo Island or a South Korean naval ship again, or by terrorising citizens of Seoul by bombing a downtown building. If such a tragic event were to occur again, North Korea sympathisers in South Korea would again blame the South and the US for "fabricating" an attack. Eventually, South Korea will become hopelessly divided and chaotic.

To make matters worse, a considerable number of South Koreans seem to naively believe that the best way to maintain peace is by being submissive and giving money to North Korea.

"Do you want another war?" they cry out. "If not, we need to pacify them by all means, including giving them money." But begging for peace through bribery is neither wise nor right. Giving money is like applying medicine for temporary relief, not a cure. Moreover, what would we ultimately gain from giving the North astronomical amounts of money? Everlasting threats and harassment! You can never placate North Korea with bribery.

We used to think we were surrounded by unfriendly neighbours who invaded our country in the past or sent yellow dust in the spring. Today, we realise that North Korea is the worst neighbour we have ever had. As a nation, we cannot move, and thus have to cope with this extremely hostile neighbour every day.

It is a relief that President Park and the Ministry of Defence firmly declared that South Korea would not tolerate any provocations from the North. In order to break free from this bully, we need to stand up to him. Living with a bad neighbour is tough and rough already. But we must do our best to protect our family from the bully next door.

Kim Seong-kon is a professor

of English at Seoul National University and president of the Literature Translation Institute of Korea.