The Nation



Horace Beasley's New Year wish list

Through your letters column, the Beasley clan wishes to send its heartiest holiday greetings to all Thais and resident aliens. It will save us money on cards.

For the new year, I wish Thailand a peaceful and fruitful reform process that will result in a just and equitable system of government, a legislative body composed entirely of arahats, and a head of government with the wisdom of Solomon, the altruism of Buddha, and the strength of Superman. And I haven't been smoking anything - it's just the wine.

My husband Horace wishes the following blessings for Thailand:

1. The appointment of caretaker Prime Minister Yingluck as Prime Minister Emeritus for Life. This will ensure that we will always have a cute prime minister (well, until she gets old.) Horace says if we're going to have a prime minister, we might as well have a cute one. She won't have to do anything, just look good.

2. Mandatory happy hours at all drinking establishments, extending from 7pm to closing time.

3. Free beer on Saturday nights at designated drinking venues near our home.

4. Abolition of bar fines throughout the Kingdom. This pernicious custom, obviously of foreign origin, has long outlived its sell-by date. 5. Cancellation of the 90-day sign-in requirement for long-stay expats. Immigration doesn't need to know where we are. With mandatory happy hours, free beer on Saturday nights, and no bar fines, we'll always be here.

And to the lovely Thai people from both of us: May you always eat well, look good and party hearty.

Constance Beasley


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