A new book offers practical advice on preparing for death

Despite its title,Karnjariya Sukrung's book "Sook Sood Tai Tee Plai Tang" ("Joyful Living at the End of Life") is not a simple spiritual guide to living out one's final days. The author is aiming to help prepare elderly readers, as well as those diagnosed with terminal disease, to prepare properly for the transition between life and death.

The venerable Phra Paisarn Wisalo, leader of the Buddhika Network-supported national project "Towards Peaceful Dying", says that critically and terminally ill patients don't just need physical care, they also need treatment for the inner spirit.

Relatives, friends and even medical practitioners have very important roles to play in helping them through this final period. Since the beginning of the project three years ago, Phra Paisarn has been attempting to show that death is not a crisis, but can often be quite the opposite.

Death is the opportunity to understand the truth, he notes, a chance to be relieved of burdens and an opportunity to revive relationships. It doesn't matter who you are, most people have the potential for a peaceful death. The important thing is to be prepared for it.

Karnjariya's book fits neatly into the project, taking a realistic approach to both practical and spiritual considerations and including advice on making arrangements for the funeral.

"This book isn't an absolute spiritual guideline," says Karnjariya, 35, a former writer for the Bangkok Post and a member of Happy Media, a group working in collaboration with Mahidol University's Contemplative Education Centre.

"Most spiritual books tend to focus on life after death, karma or merit making, but none talk about this transitional period - the need for all of us to prepare for the inevitable."

While Karnjariya was writing the book, she faced her own near-death experience.

"I had a severe reaction to a drug allergy," she explains. "Lying in a hospital bed made me appreciated the beauty of life around me. It also helped me realise the importance of death.

"But I didn't think so much about the notion of dying peacefully, but rather how to live beautifully."

Most people are afraid of dying but prefer not to think of it until eternity catches up with them.

"That's why people try to bargain with life," Karnjariya explains. "An individual diagnosed with a terminal disease often can't accept the fact that he or she is going to die. The first reaction is to pray to everyone and everything that is supposed to be good or sacred.

"Then the realisation that nothing can be changed sinks in and people understand that time could have been spent more wisely with loved ones or doing things that were more meaningful."

While collecting information for the book, Karnjariya met and interviewed many terminally ill patients. Their responses and emotional reactions varied, but each time she came away feeling as if she been infused with renewed energy.

"I realised that they only have the present. The past has gone and there is no future. Time cannot be shifted. The present means everything, so when they are with me, they are truly there, not thinking of other things."

The process of writing allowed Karnjariya to gain a better understanding of life and just how short it is.

"What is the concept of a good death? My book isn't about setting standards. Phra Paisarn describes a person thinking about death as forgetful. Buddhist teachings explain in detail that there are so many things that could cause death."

Karnjariya recalls how, as a child, she was puzzled at her grandmother's request that she take photographs of the old lady on her birthday so there would be a good picture for the funeral. It wasn't until she died eight years later that she realised her grandmother had been involving her in the preparations. The role of the book, she adds, is to stimulate acceptance of the inevitable.

"It's natural for people living under the sentence of death to be worried about sorting out their affairs - their assets, their children, their work. But once they feel comfortable with the arrangements, they should consider how they can finish their days the best way they can.

"I've learned that a sick person seems to have a better chance at happiness because they tend to be more careful about what they eat and the way they do things, so they can enjoy a meaningful life in the time they have left."

"Sook Sood Tai Tee Plai Tang" is available at all leading bookstore for Bt190. For more information about the "Towards Peaceful Dying" project, contact the Buddhika Network at (02) 866 2721 or visit ww.budnet.info.

Kupluthai Pungkanon

The Nation