Peter was furious. As the head of one of the most respected consulting firms in Singapore, he had just learnt that a service proposal for an important project he had submitted to a major financial institution had not succeeded. And he had no real clue as to why.
"We spent a small fortune in research to put our proposal together," he raved. "I assigned the best brains in my team to the job. I worked two full weekends myself on the deal. The solution we pitched was perfect, and we made a significant effort on our fees. I know my competitors well enough to tell you that none of them could have produced a more thorough proposal."
"How often does this happen?" I asked.
"Way too often! It's the third time this year."
Later in our conversation, Peter asked me to contact the prospects who had recently turned down his firm's proposals, and to investigate why.
Two weeks later, I visited him again with the outcome of my survey.
"I contacted all of your prospects," I told him. "They were very open and friendly. First, no one contested the fact that your proposals were well researched, technically excellent and that you had highly capable consultants. Second, no one commented on your fees - before I prompted them to voice their opinion - and then they said the value/cost ratio was OK.
"Can you guess then what made them choose a competitor?"
"I am not in the mood for guessing," he snapped. "Tell me."
"They liked the other guys better. Or they felt the other guys cared more."
Peter jumped out of his chair.
"Whaaat?" he yelled. "We work like madmen to put up the best proposals and we don't care?"
"That is not what I told you. I said they felt the other guys cared more."
"That is absolute nonsense," he said, followed by a period of silence, after which he mumbled: "And why is that?"
"Shall we start with you?" I suggested. "How do you show your prospects that you care?"
Peter responded - again - by talking about the amount and quality of work invested in his proposals. His beliefs were getting in the way of his thinking.
"Peter, what do you know about how your prospects and your clients expect you to show you care?"
Our conversation revealed the necessity for Peter and his staff to shift from wanting to be interesting to being more interested. Going forward, Peter should also recruit good brains with good hearts - or rather, with good emotional intelligence. And we will discuss this in my column next month.
Coincidently, I was recently involved in a workshop about networking effectiveness, involving young and brilliant participants. They were asked: "When you network with potential clients, is it more important for you to be interesting or to be interested?"
Almost in unison, they answered "interesting!"
Later on, though, they realised that the people they remembered most, and would be happy to meet again, were those who appeared genuinely interested in them, not those who were simply interesting.
This may be why one of the most successful sales directors I know in Thailand keeps repeating to her staff: "Treat your customers as you would treat your boyfriend or girlfriend."
If we need someone to like us, trust us, or listen to us, mustn't we first like, trust, or listen to them?
As management guru Peter Drucker once said: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care".
Jean-Francois Cousin is an accredited executive coach and former managing director of a Fortune 500 company in Thailand. Follow his articles in Hi! Managers on every fourth Wednesday of the month.
