I'M NOT an ultra-sensitive man, but if we are standing on the edge of an abyss, I suppose I should feel it. Friday will be a big day, all right, but look around you. If what you see is bound to crumble due to what happens - or doesn't happen - to one man's money, then we have a far greater problem than anyone thinks.
Is it fair to any of us that we are made to worry about the possibility of a civil war simply because someone and his accomplices played with those numbers until he suffered the "injustice" of those numbers not being available to be played with anymore? If Thaksin Shinawatra is serious about "justice", he must take a long hard look at what his obsession with those numbers has done to his motherland.
If the Supreme Court unfreezes his money and returns it to him, I'll say let it be. He will only need to spend Bt1 million every day for 208 years to use it up. Anyone can live on Bt200 a day, but it takes a big spender to splash out Bt1 million every single day for 76,000 days.
That's the kind of problem Thaksin and whoever else has their name on the bank accounts will face if the court rules in his favour. And it's not an easy problem, I can tell you, since Thaksin will naturally have only about 15,000 days or so left.
If you think that is a nice problem to have, you can envy him. All I'm saying is, the numbers must not be given more credit than they deserve. We should not give them the honour of being something that will determine our nation's future. Let Thaksin have it back, if it has to come to that, and then we can resume our normal lives.
In the event that the court rules to seize the money, I just hope that those planning to take to streets realise what they will do so for. Fighting for democracy is one thing, sacrificing one's self so that obscene numbers might be unlocked for one man and his family is another.
Some say this is not a fight for money, that this is a symbolic crusade for justice. Thaksin himself says he wants every baht back, not because he is greedy, but because it means fairness. People can romanticise this issue all they like, but nobody can delete the truth that is imprinted in the money's trail - and it will be up to the nine judges to decode the controversial journey.
Thailand's political divide was caused by how people perceived the Bt76 billion. The money was in Thaksin's accounts so it must be his, one camp says. The other camp sees the money's malicious route and insists that before he can demand justice, he must first justify himself and the money's origin.
Once a disgruntled customer of AIS, I must have contributed a little share in the historic sum standing to be unfrozen or permanently seized by the Supreme Court this Friday. It's the same for many of you, too, I guess, so together we are part of this history. Remember the days when we had to pay mobile phone companies Bt500 every month without making a single phone call?
But make no mistake here. I'm not envious of those companies' wealth. I even accepted, albeit with clenched jaw, the ridiculous monthly charge that must have played a big role in bringing Thailand to this miserable juncture. My point is, we have gone through enough because those to whom we paid our money made mistakes that had nothing to do with us but have been costing us dearly ever since.
Friday will be the end of an episode featuring our nation's awkward handling of a huge amount of money - which must have grown by several billion baht already, if we count bank interest. If we can't detach ourselves from this money, if we still lose sleep over it, fearing someone might stage a coup or trigger bloodshed over it, then we can rest assured that this collective pain will remain for a very long, long time.
