Horace safely parked, peace reigns in Beasley household

your say February 28, 2018 01:00

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Re: “Worrying signs that Horace is still in the dungeon”, Have Your Say, February 27.

I thank Nigel Pike for his thoughtful concern for the welfare of my husband, Horace Beasley, and hasten to assure him that Horace is in good hands. Far from being a dungeon, our garage is furnished with amenities designed to ensure Horace’s comfort during his frequent prolonged sojourns. These include a folding bed, a hose (for showers), and a pot big enough to accommodate Horace’s large bottom in the performance of its excretory function. But he is incommunicado, with no access to the electronic media – not even a smartphone. This is to make sure he keeps out of trouble.

He doesn’t know about “Sensuous Marshy” Le Pen. I don’t want him to know about her. Nor do I want him to know about White House communications director Hope Hicks, whose primary job qualification seems to be her good looks. Horace enjoys the affectionate companionship of our recently adopted soi dog, Junta. Horace wanted to give him a proper Thai name, one beginning with the letter P, but I vetoed that on the grounds that certain quarters might consider it inappropriate. 

As previously announced, Horace may expect to be released from confinement in time to watch the long-anticipated Thai election on TV. He has indicated on many occasions that his favoured candidate is Sudarat. I don’t know who Sudarat is, but am only relieved that Horace’s interest in him is purely political and means no more trouble for me.


Constance Beasley (Mrs)

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