Coaching with rapport, and building rapport

Economy January 20, 2014 00:00


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SINCE I GOT to learn something about coaching a few years ago, I have been using this in my work whenever I can, which includes coaching myself to be positive whenever things go wrong for me.

I also feel coaching can also be used at interviews, which I do a lot in my role as a HR Manager. However, I am still struggling to get some decent results especially in the area of sizing up the candidates to know more about their personality, competencies and attitudes towards the jobs they are applying for. I must admit that this is not easy for somehow I feel they often put up an “interview front” where the real truth is hidden from me. What do you think I have been missing out? 
Lying Eyes 
The most important thing to do is to build strong rapport with the candidates. When you can do this, they will automatically feel “safe” with you. The “magic” of this is that they will become natural and comfortable with you where they will be more empowered to “bare their souls” without fear that what they say will be to their disadvantage. As we all know, most people are on their guard when they are at interviews and hence their “fences” have to be brought down if any worthwhile results are going to be achieved here. 
The Bottom Line: I personally find that when one has the ability to have “small talk” with people, they will become closer and grow to like you. So never get into the business of the interview itself, but always start with some “ice-breaking conversation” first, with simple questions such as “How did you get here? Did you have any problem finding this place?” etc, or even statements like, “I like the shirt you are wearing, where did you get it?” are helpful in making the candidates feel at ease. After doing this, you can continue with small-talk questions of a different kind where you can ask questions that reveal more about their personalities, such as “What is the most important event that has occurred in your life over the last month?” Their answer will tell you more about their world meanings and life priorities. Another one is: “What is one joyful occasion that you have experienced this year?” This one will tell you a lot about their attitude and life balance. Or ask them to narrate their life stories, which will also reveal to you the kind of person they are. 
Powerful Questions: What do you have to watch out for in your energy when you are with people? What positive feedback have you received from others that you can use more in your conversation with people? What have you learned about your previous interviews that will give you good clues on how to move forward to become an effective interviewer? Who are your good role models from whom you can gain something? 
I am guilty of procrastinating many things that I should be doing and not doing in a timely manner. It is either I am dragging my feet, giving excuses or simply putting my own “self-created” obstacles to prevent me from doing it. However, I am not irresponsible because my life is not as messed up like many people whom I know. However, I am intrigued with why many people like me like to put off doing things that we ought to be doing until the final hour. Can you help me to understand myself more in this area? 
Feet Dragger 
As you probably know, procrastination is about postponing something you can do today to the future. However, it is not as simple as that, as people who procrastinate usually have a deeper reason/s for it, which usually has psychological and/or emotional linkages. In its essence, it has to do with some sort of fear or doubt that doing it is tough work or that there is fear that what you do is not going to be well accepted by others. Yet another reason is the person’s complicated attitude towards time. In trying to outwit or outsmart the “clock time” with their “subjective time” they get into “trouble” with other people who are more used to “clock time”. 
The Bottom Line: Perhaps the way around this is to ask yourself what suffers because of this habit and whether it is worthwhile for you to perpetuate it. If it does, then you need to do something about it as soon as possible and I am sure you will figure a way out of this problem. Notwithstanding this, you may probably be able to get out of this habit if you try to mentally simplify what you have to do so that there are fewer “complications” in the task. Not taking it too seriously and finding better ways of doing things are definitely ways to help you get out of this. 
Powerful Questions: What is procrastination doing to you? What would it be like if you could overcome it? What is one measure you are already taking to overcome it? What will move it even more to a life that is free from procrastination? 
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