Of blame, and shame, and why we are forgetting our sense of honour

In the US, it was way back in the year 1985 that a senior administration official - Robert McFarlane, President Ronald Reagan's national security adviser - resigned over his own failure in the Iran-Contra scandal, in which the US tried to covertly sell weapons to Iran to raise money to support the rebel contras in Nicaragua. He even tried to commit suicide by swallowing a large dose of tranquillisers, out of "a sense of having failed the country". He is the last government official known to have taken personal responsibility and shame to the Roman level.

Recently, again in the US, we have seen politicians and government officials who show "remorse", but only when they get caught red-handed with their hands in the cookie jar. But their public admissions of guilt were made out of necessity and were fake. Most will go as far as to admit their own "private moral failings" or "lapses of judgement" but never for having failed their oath of office, or to their constituency or the nation.

But even that is far better than what we have here in Thailand. Have we ever heard anybody in high office admit their guilt and show remorse for having failed us, the people, and the country?

How can people who have taken an oath to serve the country to the best of their ability, truthfully, honestly and justly, keep their heads held high when in their hearts they must know that their work has been flawed and the public has been wronged by them?

Why do they never run out of mitigating circumstances that become their vindication mechanism? No guilt, no atonement, no apology. And we have to take it in stride, as if it is acceptable and tolerable.

As instance after instance show us that guilt and shame have no merit in our society, we began to believe they are superfluous. Bribery, "pay to play", and kickbacks are all conducted in the open, no more behind the scenes.

What's to be ashamed or secretive about when your boss and all the people around you are doing it? There is no stigma is attached to it, and the people who resort to corrupt and criminal acts even seem to take pride in their short cuts to wealth, fame and a front row seat in society?

If they get caught, blaming others is the thing to do. Dragging down the whole country to share in the burden of one's own personal misery and misfortune is now considered heroic.

Things are turning upside down as far as our social and ethical values are concerned. Black has been turned into white, and white into black, because lies and deception are considered an integral part of our society. They are social and cultural norms, not violations. Personal gain and exoneration take precedence over everything else. Civility, decency and honesty have gone out of focus.

And we as a society have accepted all this without demur.

In his book "Alice in Wonderland", Lewis Carroll made his Alice enter a hallucinogenic world that gave birth to the term "Alice in Wonderland Syndrome". In that world, Alice suffers from defective vision in which objects appear smaller ("micropsia") or larger ("macropsia") than their normal or actual size. These days, many people seem to be suffering from these two impairments, selectively.

When it comes to our wrongdoing, we expect or demand micropsia from ourselves and from others. When it comes to other's wrongdoing, we demand macropsia. How can a society survive with a pandemic of these two diseases?

The answer is that it cannot. For a society to survive peacefully, social equilibrium has to prevail where its different parts harmoniously relate to one another.

In a society, each pressure encourages counter-pressure, and the result is a self-correcting mechanism in which energies are called up to restore balance. If such energies are abrupt, unusual or excessive, serious upsets occur in that society.

Or is the aim of some people violent and frenzied "adjustment"? Is a cadmean victory a victory? Are they really so far off their rockers?

The concepts of guilt, shame, remorse and atonement are complex and difficult to grasp, as much as these are redeeming qualities. People are imperfect and we make mistakes. Most of us are guilty of diplopia and ignoble temptations and impulses. There is also imperfect justice.

But our human faults and flaws and failings do not diminish the importance of responsibility. As supposed rational and social beings, we must be accountable for our own deeds - and held accountable for them - and there is simply no excuse for not taking it seriously.

Getting into the habit of finger-pointing and blaming it all on other people will eventually lead us to a dead end. Sooner or later, the buck stops with us, and we reap what we sow. All the encomiums and the slurs do not make a man a god or demon. It is the conscience and sense of responsibility that exonerate the soul.

After all that has been said and done, the line between blame and shame is called honour.

Do we know what it means?

And do we care?