
The veteran politician told the Parliament, very loudly on Thursday: "The real Democrat Party's leader is outside the House." Gosh!
The statue of Mother Earth, the guardian angel of the Democrats, must have stopped squeezing water out of her locks and started scratching her head. Who, if not Abhisit, is the real leader?
For those who missed the live broadcast of the censure debate, here's what Sunai actually said: "The real Democrat Party leader is giving orders from the outside."
TV cameras captured Abhisit looking as if the cat was out of the bag.
The revelation was damning enough to provoke protests and from both sides of the aisles. Democrat Apichart Supapaeng from Phetchburi stood up at least ten times to question Sunai. "If Abhisit is not our 'real' leader, then, Sunai should reveal who our leader is."
All eyes in the House then turned to Deputy Prime Minister Suthep Thaugsuban, the usual suspect because of the war chest that he commands and because his average time on TV is only second to Abhisit's these days. But before Suthep could start doing Shaggy's "It wasn't me" rap song in the southern dialect, the other MPs realised that he could not possibly be this missing leader - he was "inside" the House.
Hang on, before you start dismissing what you hear during the censure debate as simply a bunch of bad jokes, the debate over the real Democrat leader is no laughing matter. However, you would be forgiven for thinking the goings on in Parliament could be made into the sequel of "Dumb and Dumber". For instance, some MPs yesterday morning spent hours discussing whether their fellow MPs had brains. Some even doubted if they themselves had any brains.
At one point, the House turned into a language class, when MPs started arguing about whether a certain word could be used in the House. While the argument was inconclusive, we can only reveal that the problematic word has two syllables that can be pronounced as a combination of the English word "ship", and the Thai one that can be translated into "lost" in English.
Returning back to the Democrats leader, foreign readers may not understand why some MPs have been crying foul about who their real papa is.
Many Thais remember the memorable line from the film "Mekong Full Moon Party": "What you see may not be what it is". This should explain why this identity crisis could be the source of fear for many politicians. To use an analogy from the film, Abhisit might not be the real Naga fireball shooting out of the Mekong River, but he shot into the sky thanks to someone whose identity is still a mystery. Oh dear, maybe Abhisit is just a proxy of the real Naga.
Apichart continued pressing Sunai for an answer, naming every previous Democrat leader and asking if there was anybody he had left out. In a shaky voice, Apichart begged: "Please tell me who our leader is." (Imagine a clichéd scene from a Hollywood film where the protagonist looks up to the sky and asks that question: "Who am I?")
In response, Sunai rubbed his grey head gently as if he were about to stay something very important, and said: "I will tell you when it's over."
Could it be a political bluff? After all, the identity of his own party leader is no less curious. Pheu Thai Party is led by Yongyuth Wichaidit, a non-MP whom people hardly ever hear making political statements.
Instead, Pheu Thai's image is synonymous with the outspoken Chalerm Yoobamrung, who is the head of the opposition MPs but not the official leader of the opposition. Note: the leader of opposition MPs is different from the official leader of the opposition parties.
Eventually, Sunai suggested that the truth would be revealed by former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra when he phones in on Sunday.
However, Thaksin may - as usual - give an ambiguous answer. But for those who wonder about the real leader of the Pheu Thai Party, the phone call on Sunday should clarify it. Even MPs with a pea-sized brain should know who their boss is.