Want to know your Asean neighbour? Check out his restaurant

Awareness of each other's culinary traditions, history, and stereotypes are crucial for the nurturing of empathy towards our neighbours.

Let's start with food. How many Bangkokians know whether there is a Burmese or a Cambodian or a Filipino restaurant in Bangkok or not, and where? Very few would have an answer. But then why?

The fact that most Bangkokians neither know nor care suggests the lack of a larger Southeast Asian community. Name a nice Filipino or Singaporean dish? Perhaps it's easier for Thais to identify a Japanese dish like yaki soba or specific toppings of American thick-crust pan pizza than to talk about the spicy and rich taste of Singaporean laksa curry noodle, or sour sinigang soup from Manila.

Also, how can we claim to be a community with our neighbours when Thai perception of our neighbours is mostly limited to negative stereotypes? "Never trust the Burmese who're the historical enemy; the Cambodian too cannot be trusted; and urban legend about Singaporeans has it they succeeded for decades in delaying the construction of Suvarnabhumi international airport. Then you have Filipinos who are good as singers but not industrious....." and so on.

Wouldn't it be nice if Thais were made aware that the water buffalo, which they look down on as synonymous with stupidity is a symbol of hard work and perseverance in the Philippines?

When it comes to history, most Thais learned very little at school and have forgotten most of it by the time they leave college. Who is Lapu Lapu? What about the white rajah, white rajah who? Next question please...

One Filipino friend told this writer that people in Southeast Asia know more about the history of their ex-colonial masters than that of their neighbours. So Thailand, which had no direct ex colonial master, ended up knowing nothing.

But trying too hard sometimes leads to a minor loss of face. Surin's recent meeting with Asean civil groups in Bangkok's Chulalongkorn University just prior to the Asean Summit began with the Thai-born Asean secretary-general trying to greet participants in 10 Asean languages, which was impressive. But Surin made a mistake in referring to his Cambodian guest as Vietnamese. And it took him quite a while before he could recognise the slip-up.

Hopefully more intra-regional trade, travel and tourism and even intermarriage will help, as long as Thai tourists don't spend too much time eating pseudo Thai food - provided by their Thai tour operators - while travelling in Bali, Cebu or Ho Chi Minh.

Appreciation of each other's cuisine and history, and negative stereotypes, are crucial for the nurturing of empathy. It's harder to care and feel the pain and suffering of others when we hardly know or cannot appreciate one another.

The region can eventually become a genuine large community, although it may take longer than the Asean bureaucrats claim. And it can begin with either campaigning for freedom in Burma - or by first searching out for the nearest Burmese restaurant in Bangkok which is supposedly in the Ramkhamhaeng area.