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I thrive on imprudence, murkiness and lack of principles. Most of all, I create and feed on self-delusion. I give everyone a false sense of security while I, in fact, shepherd them into a minefield. That's why when the West reprimanded Asia over a decade ago about financial ethics, it did not realise that it was taking a similar path - only the abyss awaiting it is a far deeper one this time.

I'm great at taking everyone farther and farther from reality, all the while making them believe that all the monsters they created - like the commercial paper market, credit default swaps, futures contracts - were for noble reasons. Why wouldn't everyone like these creatures, after all? They gave bad executives one lifeline after another, and boosted the fortunes of the "wise ones" far beyond what they had ever dreamed of.

I have inflated the value of virtually everyone on the planet. The best part is, with the so-called "crisis" battering the globe, people are complaining about their "lost values", while in fact they have been simply brought back to their true essence. As long as they don't realise this ultimate truth, they will do everything they can to return to being overpriced again.

I have heard that some American thinkers are paying serious attention to what my number one enemy, Karl Marx, used to preach. Good luck. Once you have been spoiled, you are forever so. This world has been doing it my way for so long, and only a few weeks before Black September, western editorials were still bashing Thailand's concept of sufficiency economy, which they suggested wouldn't have set men on the moon or unlocked genetic secrets. Like it or not, you can't live without me.

I have created a world where digital numbers that exist virtually in a parallel universe mean life and death and dictate most of your actions, moral or otherwise. It's a world in which a company boss can turn from a saint into Satan in the blink of an eye, depending on how his digital fortunes change. It's a world where what happens to a company that insured the insurer of another insurer of a bond-holder (or bond-better) can starve families in another country.

US President Barack Obama has bemoaned my flaws. He has to, and I'm happily taking the slap on the wrist as long as he stays committed to using his taxpayers' money to buy out the crappy assets in my system.

Don't get me wrong, the guy walked into a vicious circle. Like everyone else, he is stuck in a dilemma of letting me die, and thus leaving the world without a traditional economy, or breathing new life into the very institutions and individuals who landed him in this mess in the first place.

Again, the reluctant rescuers are talking prudence, transparency and regulation. I'm not worried about this kind of adrenaline-driven response. Financial ethics are as rare and short-lived as the human ability to carry a refrigerator out of a burning house. "We must restrain the investors," they say. Who are they kidding? The closest thing to the bail-out plan, in my opinion, is giving a broke, gambling addict some money in front of a casino and telling him to behave.

Well, it's nice talking to you and we should do this again sometime. I know many of you are staring at a job loss, but look at the bright side: You all will have more time for biking, playing tennis, reading, watching your stockpile of pirated movies or simply laying on the beach. A bit of an irony, isn't it? Now that you are poor, you can do whatever you dreamed about having plenty of time to do once you were rich.

That's the best I can give you: a worthwhile break from me. But you will be back and I won't change the lock. I have hooked everyone in an unholy chain and there is no holy way of breaking away from it. Till death do us part is an understatement, because I have worked very hard to make sure that if you pull the plug on me, you, too, will die.