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I don't know when we started linking teenagers to sex on days like Valentine's or Loy Krathong, but I did see it coming. These polls apparently come up with results on how many teenagers "plan", "want" or "don't want" to have sex on certain festive days, and I feel like shouting "Confirm!" (like a certain fortune-teller), because I expected it, and sure enough, Suan Dusit came up with poll results.

The poll suggests that only 5 per cent of the young respondents said that sex was part of their plans for this Valentine's Day. Should we be happy or sad? Which teens constituted this 5 per cent? Was it your son, or my daughter? Are we glad that the probability of teen sex has dropped from last year's Abac Poll, which showed 21 per cent were ready to have sex on Valentine's Day?

Actually, the more poll results we read, the less Earth-shattering they become. Perhaps we are so accustomed to them that maybe we have developed an immunity or maybe we are getting used to more scary facts and figures. The question is why the sexual behaviour of Thailand's teens gets studied only prior to days like Valentine's or Loy Krathong. Okay, it springs from good intentions, but it reads more like routine. First a poll is released, then the results come out, and then the public gets all critical about teen behaviour, be it their excessive expenditure on gifts, their plan to have sex on the day or their lack of knowledge about sexually transmitted diseases. Then it is the turn of the phu yai from various government agencies to express their concerns and issue warnings. Then, finally, it is all followed by campaigns that promote safe sex or platonic relationships like this year's "White Valentine's Design My Love" campaign.

Things won't be any different next year either.

However, to me personally it appears sad and hopeless that society only gets interested in teens and their bedroom antics twice a year, on Loy Krathong and Valentine's. Surveys and warnings can have the same impact as a sign screaming "Beware of Trans-Fats" at a McDonald's outlet.

There is a set of values that society needs to re-examine if it wants to cope with teen problems better. First things first though: sex is a part of life; it is not a vice, but casual sex can bring with it problems. What we really need is a positive approach that can educate and encourage the young to have sex when they are "ready" and partake of it in a responsible manner, much like the "don't drink and drive" campaign.

Not to be overlooked is the other excessive campaign that says good Thai women need to value their virginity. As a woman, I have no objections to the idea, but we have to remind ourselves that it takes two to tango. It is so out of proportion when we heavily campaign for young women to value their virginity while young men rarely cooperate. This disparity showed when more than 100,000 young women chose illegal abortions last year.

Problems caused by teen sex, including disease and pre-mature pregnancy, can be solved if society teaches boys as well. They too need to learn not to cause problems. Parents are more protective of their daughters, but many of them fail to teach their sons how to honour the opposite sex.

Remember the "Yued Ok Pok Tung", which literally means carry a condom with your head held high, campaign in 2007? To me, it was one of the best campaigns so far. The approach was perfect, engaging the teens and making them feel proud of their participation. If parents never teach their sons to carry condoms, someone else has to do it, and more importantly, they must cooperate. Unfortunately, conservative people believe the campaign promoting safe sex and could make teens obsessed with the subject.

Well, sex has always been every teenager's main interest. Yet the idea of shaming youngsters through polls or preaching to them would simply not work. Remember they're not toddlers any more.

Of course, it looks like an uphill task, but teens planning to have sex on Valentine's Day doesn't matter as much to me as the percentage of adults who are still in denial of the problem. If you think it is a problem then talk about it and find a solution. Obviously, it should be a national agenda, and not just a routine subject that pops up every Valentine's or Loy Krathong day.