Americas new first dog: The vote for 'change' makes sense

In his victory speech, President-elect Obama confirmed a promise he had made to his two daughters, Malia and Sasha, that he would buy them a new puppy to take to the White House. History will record that this was his first major decision as president-elect.

In a subsequent press conference, he qualified his decision by saying that (a) the lucky puppy would have to be one that did not trigger Malia's allergies, and (b) it would most likely come from an animal-rescue shelter, so would probably be a "mutt" (a mongrel, or mixed-breed dog).

As a dog person, I have some suggestions that may help the president-elect to fine-tune his decision. I offer them absolutely free of charge, and disclaim any ambitions for a cabinet-level position, although I must confess that the title Secretary of Dogs has a grand and lofty ring.

If offered such a post, despite the immense sacrifices that would be required, my deep sense of patriotic duty would almost certainly compel me to accept.

President-elect Obama's first requirement, that the puppy should not trigger Malia's allergies, is easy enough to meet. If Malia and Sasha like a candidate, all Malia has to do is pick it up and cuddle it. If she sneezes, the pup is out. If there's no sneeze, we have a successful contender.

The second requirement is equally easy to meet. Many animal-rescue shelters (more informally known as dog pounds) have puppies. And with regard to the issue of choosing a mutt, I have good news for the First Family.

In my youth, my family owned several dogs, and the experience led to a remarkable conclusion. Thoroughbred dogs tend to be stupid or high-strung. If you want a smart dog, an affectionate dog, a dog who will be a faithful companion in happy romps through wooded glens (or on the White House lawn), you want a mutt.

For children, you don't want a dog that's too big. An Alsatian, German shepherd, Great Dane, or St. Bernard will be too hard for them to handle. He'll always be knocking them over when he gets frisky, and if he turns bad or gets distemper he can be dangerous. Also, it's not easy to cuddle a big dog, and children want a dog they can cuddle.

You also don't want a dog that's too small. A chihuahua, toy poodle, or shih tzu is likely to be high-strung and yappy. It will be hard for him to keep up during extended romps in the woods, and if an adult accidentally steps on him, he's dead.

For children, you want a medium-sized dog. The best dogs my family ever had were two mutts - both medium-sized, both half beagle and half cocker spaniel. I highly recommend this particular combination to Sasha and Malia.

Now we come to the question of what to name the First Dog, also known as the Pre-eminent Pup or the Chief Canine. The Obamas have to be careful about this, because any name they choose will be closely scrutinised for political implications by pundits throughout the world. 

I suggest the name "Change." This seems an odd name for a dog, but there are solid reasons behind it.

"Change" is a gender-neutral name that is suitable for either a male or a female dog. Obama's whole campaign was based on the idea of change. Change got the Obamas into the White House, and Change will follow them there. The entire nation is now seething with a desire for change, and when Sasha and Malia call, "Here, Change, come here," Change will come.

If the US economy is slow to recover from the current catastrophe, or if the US military is slow to pull out of Iraq, feisty journalists will ask Obama, "Where's that change you promised us?" The president will then say, "Change is right here!" and his lovely dog will jump into his arms.

There is good change and bad change, so Sasha and Malia will have to train Change to be good. Change can sometimes be messy, too, so house-breaking Change must top their list of priorities. Big changes can be disruptive and small changes will be ineffective, so this is another reason why Change should be a medium-sized dog. If anybody challenges the scale of the changes Obama makes, he can win the Buddhist vote by saying, "I'm following the Middle Way, and that is reflected in the size of my daughters' dog."

If the changes Obama makes get out of hand, he can bring them under control by ordering, "Heel, Change, heel!" And Change will heel. It goes without saying that Change must never be taught to beg, but should certainly be trained to shake hands and wai, and possibly even to salute on military occasions.

Yes, a dog named Change, properly trained, will fulfil Obama's campaign promises "Change we need" and "Change you can believe in.