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The polls suggest the four are former governor Apirak Kosayodhin, People Power Party candidate Prapat Chongsanguan, former massage-parlour tycoon Chuwit Kamolvit and independent Kriangsak Charoenwongsak.

Their stated policies are as smoggy as the Bangkok skyline, so no one stands out in that respect. Who know which one will make Bangkok greener or has the best solution for the traffic jams?

Anything at all for women? Well, at least Dr Dan-Can-Do - Kriangsak - vows to make the city safer for us. Is it just me, or is the choice this time around more arduous than ever? Let's make it a bit easier, ladies, or at least more fun. Let's look at the ballot like a choice of candidates for a date. Who will it be?

You've probably already given your head a good shake over Chuwit's "Kung Fu Panda" act with Channel 3 anchorman Visal Dilokwanit, but that still doesn't rule him out of the race.

The day after he let his fists do some campaigning for him, one of my female colleagues, who's very polite and feminine, said she understood why Chuwit let loose.

"I've seen Visal on TV many times," she said, "and he likes to interrupt his guests. He sometimes shows no respect to the person he's interviewing." Well, Chuwit did tell a reporter he planned to "fight hard" to win the election, and he deserves votes for his lack of pretension. What could be less pretentious than beating up a journalist?

Date Chuwit and you might have a Freddie Mercury song as the soundtrack: "I'm Mr Bad Guy

They're all afraid of me

I can ruin people's lives

Mr Bad Guy, they're all afraid of me

It's the only way to be

That's my destiny

Mr Bad Guy, Mr Bad Guy, Bad Guy!"

If you're deeply moved, vote for Chuwit. And be ready with your half of the duet: "Just the Way You Are".

Apirak ought to be a decent date. We've known him for four years, after all, and he's good-looking enough that that's probably why there's a 10-per-cent gap in his popularity between men and women voters.

But if it's looks that count, Prapat stands a good chance too. He leaves a trail of swooning female admirers behind him on the campaign trail, once they've posed with him for a snapshot.

Maybe that neatly trimmed moustache and the Harley-Davidson bike on his posters add to his appeal. A female supporter insists he's even better looking in person.

But Prapat's link to the ruling party means he'll be immediately ruled out as dating material among the huge female contingent backing the People's Alliance for Democracy.

"He can't be that smart if he's running under the PPP banner, knowing that the party is so unpopular in Bangkok," says a colleague.

Apirak hasn't said or done anything stupid in four years, has he? But, on the other hand, while he may be the man who'll never make you cry, he's also the guy who'll never make you laugh either.

He's just SO serious!

Did you see him being interviewed by Sorrayuth Suthassanachinda on Channel 3? He had a long face the whole time. Judged on the basis of a sense of humour, he'd be the last choice for a date.

Of course we can't rule out the champion of the middle class and youngsters, Dr Dan. One problem with Kriangsak is that he promises the moon. Elect him and the world will be perfect - clean air, instant Internet access, chocolate dreams - it's all a bit intimidating.

He smiles all the time, but it seems like one of those beauty-queen smiles. It's hard to tell what's really being beamed out.

I suppose that thinking of the ballot decision as a choice for a date isn't so easy. Plus, you date the wrong guy and you can write him off forever the next day; you vote for the wrong guy and you're stuck with him for four years.

Is there a dark horse in this election who'll come riding in on a white horse and save the day? A political pundit tells me that Bangkok governors-elect have often started out as dark horses - think Chamlong Srimuang and Pichit Rattakul.

No, let's not date them either.

Good luck on your date. Your next one is in four years!