• 
• 

Published on April 12, 2008

How wonderfully convenient. Klong Dan waste-water plant? Never heard of it. My hidden assets? Ha! They're in the safe, silly. Oops. The court has announced that the next hearing will take place sometime after Songkran, or quite possibly in October 2017, if he or anyone else, can remember anything at all by then.

Then we had MP Karun Hosakul, who once left his former wife covered in bruises in the "Kung Fu Canteen Caper" and promptly blamed the other guy. As one insider quipped, "It was like watching winos fight - entertaining but not much skill involved". By the way, my late grandmother detested men who hit the opposite sex. "Only a coward or a madman hits a woman," she taught me. Oh that she were alive. Left alone in a room with him, armed only with her ivory walking stick, Khun Karun would never have touched a female again. Ever. Then we had the finest public health minister the country has ever experienced saying he wasn't guilty over the shares his wife held illegally, did a quick round of the nearest ICU surrounded by 12 men wearing light blue track-suits and baseball caps, all holding a bunch of flowers above their heads, threw his stethoscope out of his pram and then refused to quit. So there.

But then, given the uber-risible makeup of this present administration, being kicked out could hardly be considered a punishment.

Finally, the prime minister, who had previously announced he wouldn't touch the charter until the end of his term, changed his mind. The reason? His MPs deem the current Constitution is bad for their wealth. But of course. Triples all round!

These men have no one to blame but themselves, but have ended up blaming everyone anyway. And these men represent us. Paid for with our money. What's more, this collective behaviour teaches us that the importance of the position has nothing to do with the class of the person. Actually, it's not about behaviour at all, but about the apparent display of an inherent quality intrinsic to the individual. No one comes out of this well.

 

UUU

Overheard on The Nation editorial floor.

"Was Thaksin's lawyer really going to demand another 300 witnesses to be heard for the share-concealing case?"

"Yep."

 "What is this? Nuremburg?"

 

UUU

 

Dear Mr President of the Airports Authority of Thailand,

Could you please explain to the thousands of frustrated passengers exactly what happens to the mega tonnes of expensive bottles of Scotch, face creams, suntan lotions, hair gel and every other bottled liquid over 150 millilitres after it has been taken off them before they depart on their flight? Is it given to charity? Is it thrown away? Or is it a nice little earner for the AOT? Thank you very much in advance.

PS - My Thai partner was so incensed after having a half-empty bottle of face cream thrown in the bin, she yelled at the guy in English.

I felt sorry for both of them. My partner because she lost what was rightfully hers, and the guy at the gate for having the worst job at the airport. Imagine being abused all day, every day, by complete strangers. Is he paid extra for this? Or does a bottle of Chivas help smooth the stress?

UUU

Mobiles on flights?

Imagine finally nodding off five hours into your trip to Europe and hearing the person next you say: " Hi! I'm on the plane! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"

Please, Lord Buddha. No.

UUU

Letter of the week to the London Times:

Sir, While travelling through Terminal 5 at Heathrow Airport last week I heard an announcement asking a Mr Chamberlain to come to the British Airways desk as his luggage had just arrived from Munich. Is this a record? David A Harris

 

UUU

Chinese to ban smoking in Beijing before the Games.

"Cui Dalin, China's deputy sports minister, told legislators that the Olympics would inspire Chinese to lead healthier lives He promptly stepped out into a non-smoking hallway and lit up." The Times

 

UUU

Weekend meditation:

The French writer Alphonse Daudet aged 48, his joints collapsing, and organs disintegrating, was still able to be bright and witty for an evening by giving himself five morphine injections in a row. He was tempted by suicide, but felt "one doesn't have the right".

Drive safely, or as Ghandi had it: "There is more to life than increasing its pace." Happy Songkran!

Compiled by Roger Beaumont