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Published on March 2, 2008

Fifty-something Urai is at war with herself. She used to be tops in school but she never finished Grade 5. She's content with her life as a mother of two, with a good husband, but something inside her keeps whispering that she's not as successful as she could have been.

Sitha, in his 20s, rarely smiles. He works hard and his career is promising, but deep down he feels his life is out of control and he's terrified of making mistakes.

Sitha and Urai - not their real names - took part in a workshop in Bangkok last weekend at which the Spirit in Education Movement demonstrated a technique for bringing about inner change that could soon be utilised by therapists across the country.

"Our behaviour and our needs stem from our beliefs," explained Prof Nongpanga Limsuwan, president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists of Thailand. "You're here because you want to understand yourself, based on the belief that, once you understand yourself, you'll be happy."

Participants learned about the Satir transformational systemic therapy model developed by the late Virginia Satir, which asserts that our actions are just the visible tip of the iceberg, while its vast bulk beneath the surface is where the controls lie, in our feelings, perceptions, expectations and yearnings.

"The Satir model doesn't try to change the way we think. It's not so much a matter of thinking we've done our best but actually feeling we've done our best. It's feelings that are the true friends of the self," Nongpanga said.

She and her team from the Royal College were trained in the technique in 2003 by Drs John and Kathlyne Banmen of the Satir Institute of the Pacific in Canada.

The Satir model is currently catching on among Thai therapists, since it's a quick way to facilitate personal growth, said Nongpanga, who next month will be training psychiatrists in Khon Kaen. The Royal College will later coach its members across the country.

By way of assessing themselves in iceberg proportions, participants in last weekend's seminar charted "family maps" and chronologies and identified the family and social rules that affect them and how

they can be dealt with productively rather than as restraints to self-improvement.

Some of those present, including Urai and Sitha, underwent a palpable healing process.

Urai explained that a part of her worries that success remains elusive, so she lacks the confidence she'd need to open a business.

"Do you think the voice that keeps telling you you're not yet successful has good intentions towards you?" she was asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"Is it now time to thank the voice for its good intentions and get on with your life?"

"Yes!" Urai burst out. "I get it! Thank you."

She paused a moment, and then said, "I feel like I'm a new person now."

It was a compelling example of sudden transformation being sparked by a few questions. For Sitha, the change took an intense hour.

Sitha had long harboured ill feelings about the violent temper his father displayed during his childhood. He wanted to forgive him, but found him unforgivable.

"Do you think your father had good intentions, but maybe he chose the wrong way to raise you?" Nongpanga asked. "Do you think he did the best he could under the circumstances?"

"My feeling now is that I've forgiven my father, but I still hate the condemnation, the violence," said Sitha.

"You've carried this hatred for a long time, even though the incidents stopped years ago," Nongpanga pointed out. "Don't you think you're now being violent to yourself?" 

The dialogue continued, until Sitha finally found a way to make peace with his father - and with himself. The other participants saw him smile for the first time.

Among the Satir model's tenets:

l Everyone has good intentions behind every action.

l We all have our own inner treasure that we can nurture and build.

l Changes in behaviour and feelings depend on various factors, but inner change is always possible.

The goals of the therapy are to give people more choice, to make them take responsibility for their choices and be more confident, and to remove all conflict with others and themselves.  

With an unwaveringly gentle therapist's touch, Nongpanga listens carefully, with her own feelings readily apparent. She waits patiently for clients to respond, giving them time to consider. She uses similes to illustrate the damage done in specific cases and the rewards that await every conflict's resolution.

"There is no violence, blame or disagreement in transformational therapy," said Parichawan Chandarasiri of the Department of Psychiatry at King Chulalongkorn Memorial Hospital.

Buddhists will find in the Satir model's division of the psyche into behaviour, feelings and thinking an echo of the Buddha's teachings.

Nongpanga said both aim to foster happiness, though with different approaches. "It's like food: Sometimes you feel like having Indian food, other times Chinese food. Either way, the end result is they make you happy."

"From now on," Parichawan advised, "whenever you feel uneasy or threatened, instead of reacting in the same old, negative way, turn to your life force, and you'll know you have a choice."

Aree Chaisatien

The Nation