Staying connected in the afterlife

Published on January 28, 2008

We live in an age when no self-respecting dead person is going to be content with a pot of tea and some spending money. They want to be online and watching "Alien vs Predator" just like the rest of us.

Lotus superstores have everything they need. Devoted next-of-kin need only look for the sign that screams "New!!!"

There are computer notebooks, LCD televisions and DVD players going for Bt98 each. Despite being made of flammable paper, they look pretty realistic - good enough to fool a ghost anyway.

There's something missing on this wish list for spooks, though: mobile phones.

The oversight had Soopsip wondering aloud, and a friend offered a reasonable explanation: "If your ancestors have a phone, they could call you up and start complaining!"

You could start getting calls at all hours of the night from Granddad, moaning on and on about the state of the economy, the new Cabinet line-up, your behaviour lately.

So not sending them a phone makes sense, but then, if you give them a computer, can't they just start sending e-mails instead?

This is true, apparently, but then you could simply hit the spam button and ignore the messages.

Just be careful about who's asking to be added to your MSN chat list!

Penpak takes on the naked swami

Writer Niwat Kongpien, who's known as "Thailand's Nude Guru" - not because he teaches meditation in the buff but because he writes about sex and stuff - has long admired model-turned-actress Penpak Sirikul.

Now Niwat is launching a new opinion column in Women's First magazine, and he's getting Penpak to share her views on guys in a counterpoint column.

"My Men: Phuchai Kong Chan" is to be published every month, side by side with "My Ladies: Phuying Kong Pom".

"I was stressed out at first because I'm not a writer like he is," Penpak says. "But he's been very supportive, assuring me that I can just follow my heart and write what I really think about men."

She could well be a new literary star in the making. Lots of guys will be keen to get her take on things - even if the truth hurts sometimes.

Yes, Ms Minister!

Suwat Liptapanlop's wife Poonpirom looks set to be appointed as our new Energy Minister. It could signal a bright future for the ministry, possible pun intended.

Poonpirom is something like Thailand's answer to Al Gore, though she launched her own energy-saving campaign at home long before "An Inconvenient Truth" set cinemas on fire around the globe.

Confirmation of the appointment is still pending, but Poonpirom doesn't deny that she's already thinking about how to make the country more energy-conscious.

"I'm considering a competition for housewives," she says, "with an award for the one who saves the most energy in her household."

With the price of oil bulging and the economy as weak as the Democrat vote in Isaan, everyone should be willing to go along with her idea - as long as Poonpirom is one of the judges.

She's a champ at trimming the electricity bill, the reigning queen of recycling and the plastic shopping bag's worst enemy.

Plus, having her on the judging panel would keep her out of the competition. Environmentally friendly? She has Mother Nature over for pyjama parties. No one's going to beat her.

Warning: Cross-examination ahead

Considering the feisty mob that's forming the new government, political reporters are really going to have to be on their toes during question period. The boys of 2008 may have been extinct for awhile, but they've returned from the dead with some questions of their own.

Henceforth, reporters are advised to have sharp answers ready for the following:

   Who did you have sex with last night?

   Which newspaper do you work for?

Do you have another question? Because that last one was just plain stupid.

Stewardess row brought down to earth

Not to belittle the airline crews' complaints about the Channel 5 soap opera "Songkram Nang Fah" ("The Air Hostess War"), but they're not exactly unanimous in their umbrage.

The controversy has been more interesting than the TV show: The Thai Airways International labour union has protested that it makes female cabin attendants look like a bunch of conniving tarts who are alternatively flirtatious or violent.

The union is worried that viewers will be unable to differentiate between fiction and reality.

That's definitely not a problem for some of its own members, though, who turn out to be major fans of the show. The other day several reporters from Bangkok were checking in to the Charoensri Hotel in Khon Kaen when a flock of THAI air attendants from their flight rushed into the lobby.

Rather than booking rooms so they could grab some shut-eye before getting airborne again, though, the cabin crew made a beeline for the glow of a TV set that was tuned to Channel 5. Sure enough, it was time for "Air Hostess War".

"They said they were hooked on the very series that their union is rebelling against!" says our Official Eyewitness.

So if the Culture Ministry or TV station do pull it off the air or tone down the content, expect another protest, this time from the fans, backed up by the nang fah themselves, as the "angels" of the aircraft aisles are known.

Enjoy more Soopsip on the Net. Visit NationMulti-media.com/weblog and search for Soopsip, where you'll find a steady diet of political and celebrity gossip.

veen@nationgroup.com

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