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Published on January 13, 2008

 Cat says

I recently returned from a most enjoyable week in the small mountain village of Nazawa Onsen in Japan. Apart from the fabulous skiing, Nazawa Onsen is known for its onsen (natural hot springs).

The idea of soaking oneself in a natural tub with water full of minerals is quite enticing, especially after a hard day's skiing on the freezing slopes.

I suppose there were two main reasons I decided not to join my friends at the onsen.

For one, stripping stark naked in front of one's friends and other strangers, albeit all female, is not something I feel comfortable with.

Furthermore, the idea of bathing with others doesn't appeal to me at all. Being a hygiene-conscious person, I don't like the idea of sharing other people's bodily germs. Mind you, the water in the onsen was boiling hot, so very little chance of germs surviving in those temperatures. However, it would have taken me a week just to get accustomed to the water's temperature.

The Japanese have a long tradition of communal bathing due to the numerous hot springs found in the country. Public bathing customs began way back in AD 552, when people gathered to gossip and exchange news as well as wash - although in the 19th century, the sexes were separated.

These days, most Japanese homes have modern bathrooms, but natural hot springs and bathhouses remain very popular.

When I approached the owner a family-run hotel on the subject of communal bathing and my incapability to participate in it, she enlightened me with the following explanation: "In Japan the public bath is a very special area for communication and interaction. In normal life, most people define themselves with their clothes or makeup, which, from psychological aspects, is a layer of defence, giving a person a status, or conveying a message or a statement.

"In the public bath, however, everybody is naked, and clothes and makeup cannot be used to distinguish rank or social group. This kinship lowers the communication barriers between different social groups, and creates a lively atmosphere of communication."

Japanese baths are similar to Roman baths, which were perhaps the first on the planet. Roman baths existed in the second century BC, and were initially only for men.

I suppose that even then they considered places to meet up and discuss important matters, which is why women weren't included. Later, however, women were allowed in. Roman baths were places where men gathered to discuss significant matters, while women gathered to socialise. Beats watching television!

Nat says

 I admit there was a time when I was obnoxious, vain

and conceited. Being young and athletic will do that to you.

I walked around the locker rooms stark naked because I had a body I was proud of. You can just imagine what I was like at communal baths.

Note that I use the past tense when referring to the days I visited communal baths. Those days are long gone. The very same pride and vanity that led me to strut around keeps me from going anywhere near a bathhouse nowadays. I'm fat and middle aged. That combination is enough to kill anyone's exhibitionism.

The other factors are age and maturity. I am a gay man who has been in a long-term relationship for more than 10 years and my social life has changed.

As much as the baths were an important part of community life in ancient Rome and are in modern-day Japan, bathhouses and saunas have been an important part of modern gay life. They are an alternative to bars and discos. They are places to meet old friends and make new ones. One can drop in after work and still get home in time to watch "Dr Who". Many bathhouses have restaurants and gyms. Some even have theatres. Bette Midler, the American singer, got her start performing in gay bathhouses in New York City.

During the early days of the Thaksin government, Bangkok's gay bathhouses were raided by the authorities in widely publicised stings. Some of them were even shut down. They were considered dens of iniquity where people met to indulge in immoral acts.

I'm not going to lie. Gay men do go to bathhouses and saunas not to just meet for dinner but also to have sex. Yes, such encounters are often casual. While such declarations may offend some of our readers, it's the truth.

But, more than anything else, just like bars and discos, bathhouses and saunas are places to convene with other gay men when society might not be as open to our presence as it could be. Of all those places, bathhouses and saunas are actually the safest places to get together with friends. Although hate crimes against homosexuals are practically non-existent in Thailand, the danger of becoming a victim of violence is much lower in a bathhouse than it is anywhere else.

The real danger is from the health perspective - not because gay men are repositories of disease but because any unprotected sex is a risk and many bathhouse owners have stopped providing free condoms in order to appease a government that left heterosexual brothels and bars alone but insisted on raiding gay bathhouses - hygienic meeting places where little or no prostitution took place. Why pay for sex when it can be had for free?

And herein lies the most glaring difference between gay bathhouses and heterosexual communal baths. The emphasis is, indeed, on appearance. In places where sexual attractiveness is one's calling card, gay men are less accepting of people whose appearance is less than perfect. In other words, bathhouses are no place for fat, middle-aged men.

Want an opinion on something? Cat and Nat can be contacted at

NnaSWild@aol.com.