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Published on December 23, 2007

Cat says

Living in the 21st century, human beings are still fighting and killing one another over territory, religion and political beliefs in many parts of the world.

Sadly we see regular reports of innocent people being killed. Despite man's great progress, it still seems we modern humans retain many animalistic characteristics.

An act of kindness is a gesture of goodwill towards other living creatures. Kind deeds are often generated by a core response deep within us all. We are all capable of carrying out acts of kindness.

Since our society is often fuelled by selfishness, materialism and greed we may not realise that there are many acts of kindness are being performed each day, should it be a simple smile or a friendly greeting to a stranger.

Nevertheless, sometimes we do come across some extreme acts of compassion, understanding and generosity. Some of the moving stories we've heard since the tsunami tragedy are great examples. So was the generosity of enormous numbers of people around the world with their donations and contributions.

In my experience of living in many countries, it is in Thailand that I have been most impressed with people's kindness and courtesy. Old-fashioned courtesies, such as offering pregnant ladies a seat on public transport, are still largely observed in Thailand, whereas I certainly never experienced such courtesies in London when I was pregnant.

I have also noticed that Thais are very conscious of others when patiently waiting for such things as lifts, traffic lights and buses. Doors are always kept open for others if they see someone rushing to catch the lift, while elsewhere in the world the imperative is to get the door closed as fast as possible.

In my time living in Thailand, I have seen some outstanding incidents of kindness to me. I am sure all of us have who live here can also recount similar stories. A few years back, taking a taxi to Central Chidlom, I dropped an expensive watch on the back seat. I had no idea I'd left the watch behind, and was walking through the department store when I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned to be greeted by the taxi driver, who had followed me to hand back my watch. Before I could even reward the fellow, he had disappeared into the crowd to rescue his illegally parked car from the police.

On another occasion, I was in a taxi going to the airport to catch a flight when it broke down on the expressway. In a hurry to catch my flight, I tried to wave down some assistance without getting run over.

Surprisingly, within a couple of minutes, an old Toyota stopped, and a kind Thai couple asked if they could help. Having told them I was in a hurry to catch a plane, they very kindly took me to the airport, which was clearly out of their way.

Again, they would not accept any reward for their kindness. If they hadn't picked me up, I would have been stranded on the expressway for ages, and could have missed my flight. I also could have been easily run over by a fast-moving vehicle.

Confucius once said: "Forget injuries but never forget kindnesses." My encounters here have told me that mankind is capable of wonderful acts. I will never forget the kindnesses I have received, and hope I can be equally as spontaneous when it comes to helping others.

Nat says

 I still have a nanny. Her name is Prem and I love her dearly. Don't worry. It's nothing kinky. She doesn't bathe me, nor does she change my diapers. I am not so old that I need that. Such indignities are merely ordeals yet to come.

No, Prem took care of me when I was a boy. Then she took care of my younger sister. Now she takes care of my sister's daughters. However, no matter how old I may become and no matter who else Prem goes on to care for, she will always be my nanny.

Originally a companion of my mother's, Prem was the daughter of staff in my grandparents' household. She was sent to school and trained as a seamstress, eventually becoming one of the most talented dressmakers in the atelier of my late uncle, who was one of Thailand's first fashion designers.

It was only when I was born that my nanny gave up her job with my uncle and came to take care of me and then my sister. She loved us as her own and, with the exception of my parents, never has there been anyone as devoted to us.

One of the best lessons I've had in life came from Prem. I'm not quite sure how old I was when she taught me this, but it's something that has stayed with me and has served me in good stead.

As a child, I got bullied in school and, for a while, became something of an angry, frustrated child. I took to slamming doors and screaming at our dog.

Prem's answer to my problems was to tell me to let out my anger and frustration by doing something nice for someone else, instead of fighting back or being cruel to someone helpless like our dog. In other words, she taught me to react to an act of cruelty with an act of random kindness.

And it worked. Every time the bully was cruel, I responded by doing something nice for someone else. Seeing the happy response this elicited in others actually took away my anger. I could allow myself a sense of superiority because I was nice and my tormentor wasn't.

It somehow gave me the feeling that, given a choice between making the world a nastier place or a nicer place, I could chose the latter.

From a Buddhist standpoint, I suppose the object is not only to accumulate merit but also stop the cycle of bad karma. Without perpetuating the demerit by passing on the cruelty, I stopped it by being kind and earning merit.

I don't know whether this is a lesson children are taught in Thailand or whether it was a lesson taught exclusively to my sister and me by Prem. But surely, it must be something everyone learns because, as a people, we in Thailand are known for our friendly natures.

It isn't only that media hype that makes this a land of smiles.

Having said that, I know many evil things happen here. We have crime. We have murder, rape, embezzlement and more. Thailand is just as susceptible to social malaise as anywhere else in the world. For victims of senseless, violent crimes, it is probably well nigh impossible to turn around and be kind to others. Prem's lesson can't be applied then.

But in the course of everyday life, when we get cut off in traffic or suffer from office politics, being nice to someone else really takes the edge off others' unpleasantness.

Therefore, by helping a little old lady push a double-parked car out of the way so she can pull out of her space at The Emporium parking garage, I am counteracting the rude, obnoxious idiot who cut me off in a narrow soi only to block the road when he stopped to buy a bag of iced coffee.

I am being better than that evil man who, when he goes to hell, will be condemned to sitting in a car that is broken down in the middle of a traffic jam that could only take place in, well, hell.

Not only that, I can park my car in that little old lady's space.

Want an opinion on something? Cat and Nat can be contacted at

NnaSWild@aol.com.