The French are right: England is such a disappointment

Published on November 26, 2007

1. The actual fans of the team, of course. It's no fun if their guys aren't playing, and cheering for some other squad would be the height of hypocrisy.

2. The owners of English- and Irish-style pubs, who won't be seeing their regular customers again for quite a while.

3. True cable TV, whose subscriber-recruitment drive will have skidded into a recession by now.

4. Purveyors of football jerseys, who'll instead be desperately trying to find out what colour His Majesty is favouring next.

5. The next government. With no football to distract them, everyone will be staring expectantly at the incoming Cabinet. The scrutiny will be so intense that even the toughest-skinned politicians will be afraid to make a move.