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Published on August 22, 2007

What should I be worried most about - the narrow passage of the charter draft that underlines our deep national divide, the looming return of Samak Sundaravej and Chavalit Yongchaiyudh to the big stage, or the fact that my father has become a crazy fan of Manchester City?

For the record, I voted "yes", predictably. But Thaksin Shinawatra would have laughed his head off had he known that my ballot was cancelled out by my younger sister, who marked "no" with a broken heart. She had bought the reasons I gave as to why it should be passed, but things got complicated when my dad insisted on being wheelchaired to the voting booth in the searing heat so he could vent his anger against the junta. He wasn't well on that day, so the compromise was that my sister would vote "no" on his behalf.

Democracy begins at home. And what a diversified one my family has. My father's list of national heroes includes Field Marshal Sarit Thanarat, Samak, Chamlong Srimuang and last but not least Thaksin. He had a nice Sunday evening in front of the television, according to my younger brother, switching between news channels reporting a strong showing for the "no" side and a live broadcast of Thaksin's soccer team playing Manchester United off the park. "When's the Blues' next game?" Dad asked my brother this morning.

We never fight, simply because whenever I rant about Thaksin and corruption and how both led us to this impasse, my father only listens quietly and patiently. Only behind my back did he confide to my sister and brother his little secret - that he supports Thaksin partly because the older generation of Shinawatras was "very fair" to him when they operated a local cinema in the North (at a time when Dad earned his living by doing voice-overs for foreign movies).

A unique reason, isn't it? But who are we to decide which is a good or bad rationale for voting "yes" or "no"? An old friend of mine turned against the draft constitution simply because someone she greatly disliked was lobbying for it. If that kind of person likes the document, she concluded, it must be bad. Her reasoning makes my father's determination to vote "no" all the more puzzling.

To me, Sunday's result was a draw, as everyone seems to get something and lose something from it. My "no"-vote colleagues are, like my father, happy with the strong message sent to the junta, while the other camp in the newsroom enjoys switching to a patronisingly reconciliatory tone. A warning has been issued to the Council for National Security (CNS) in no uncertain terms through the strong rejection of the draft in the Northeast and North, but the figures also display a considerable drop in Thaksin's lingering popularity. The smooth passage of the referendum gives the Democrats a good head start, but the results must give the party anything but confidence.

Looked at in a positive light, the result is a door slamming shut on Thaksin, and an unequivocal public statement that the junta is very close to overstaying its welcome. I don't quite understand why the CNS and the interim government wanted a landslide "yes", which could have also meant a resounding "Yes, we can't wait to see your back."

Junta head Sonthi Boonyaratglin can blow away the fragile optimism generated by Sunday's referendum by deciding to maintain his political presence after the election. Sunday's results, especially the large number of "no" votes, have led pundits to ponder two opposite scenarios: he will be disheartened and leave the stage, or he will disastrously convince himself that it's more necessary than ever to stay on in order to "uproot" the "old power".

The bizarre state of our nation will continue. On the micro scale, the prospect of Samak making a grand political return by uniting and leading pro-Thaksin politicians must be very exciting for my father and means our ideological differences will remain irreconcilable. I can live with that, because of all the tiny little things like him asking me to wear a hat when I left home to vote on Sunday.

What I find hard to bear, though, is his growing fondness for a new football team. He used to help me cheer Liverpool on when I was a teenager and until this weekend I always thought I had him on this one.

 Tulsathit Taptim