Newin's got a way better version than Thaksin

Published on August 20, 2007

While the freshly shucked PM (Powerful [Man City] Mogul) was shopping in posh malls elsewhere in Asia following said coup, Newin was being busted by the junta.

Newin attended last Wednesday's Thai Rak Thai Group rally at Sanam Luang, where more than 50 former MPs from the deceased party seemed to be implying that people should vote "no" to the draft constitution in the referendum this weekend.

Newin ceded the stage to louder mouths, such as Chaturon Chiasang, Sudararat Keyuraphan and Surapong Suebwonglee, and instead engaged a few reporters in a bit of casual banter off to the side.

Reminiscing about his arrest last September, Newin complained that not only were his rights and freedoms being violated, his status dropped drastically. TRT big shots like Chidchai Wannasathit and Prommin Lertsuriyadej got to stay in the comfy guesthouse of the deputy supreme commander while their fates were weighed.

"What can I say? I felt like a low-ranking officer while those guys were like generals," Newin moaned.

Then the signal came to get over to Army headquarters for a bit of probing. On arrival, he made sure he lowered the car window and showed his face. A crowd of people who were not fond of Thaksin were screaming at him, but Newin just smiled - as though he were getting his portrait done.

That was exactly the idea, he revealed last week. "I just wanted to let the photographers take my photo. I wanted people to know that I was going into the Army offices so there would be a record of it."

Wily Newin, who normally stays hidden behind his car's darkened windows, was securing the evidence in case something happened to him while in military custody, such as mysteriously disappearing from the face of the planet.

And that's just the teaser-trailer for "Newin: The Movie". The tale of his 11 days in Army clutches could be a blockbuster with book and merchandise tie-ins.

The only problem is that the Culture Vulture Ministry might freak out over the ending of the film: There'd be some nudity.

Newin had been held at a location that still hasn't been disclosed. When the authorities were done with him, they piled him into a van and drove him home. At his front gate, though, they told him to take off all his clothes so they could make sure he hadn't stolen anything from his place of incarceration.

"I was so embarrassed! They were afraid I might have taken something! What could I say? How could I have stolen anything?"

In the closing scene, Newin is quickly gathering up his clothes and leaping from the van for the dash to his front door. As the credits roll there's a final glimpse of his sleek derriere, pale in the moonlight and drop-dead hilarious.