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Published on August 2, 2007

"Yai" (not her real name) and I have been going together for around two years. We've lived together for about a year. At first, I thought she was the girl for me, so kind and considerate, so calm.

Whenever I had a bad day at the office, she knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. She was a lot of fun to be with.

Now she's impatient with me. She snaps at me. There's no pleasing her. When I bring her flowers, she complains because they're orchids and not roses. When I take her out to a good restaurant, she complains that the prices are too high. When I take her out to a "cheaper" restaurant, she complains that the food isn't so good.

Last week, we had our first "real" argument. It was such a little thing. Yai was upset because I forgot we had a date to go out that night. She was so angry, she packed her things and went back to her parents.

I phoned her after a few days and apologised for what I had done (or didn't do). Actually, I'm sure I never made the date. I had an important meeting that afternoon, and I wasn't sure when it would finish.

Never mind. I apologised anyway, but I could tell that she was still angry. I've been phoning her every day, but she won't pick up.

I've always believed that if you apologise, the other person should forgive and forget, but Yai doesn't seem to operate under these conditions.

What does she want from me? I've already apologised. That should be enough, don't you think?

Sam

Dear Khun Sam,

Your girlfriend doesn't seem to be thinking about forgiving and forgetting. In fact, she seems to be sending out signals to you of a different sort, as if she'd like to break off the relationship.

If what you've told me is the entire story, then it's time my dear, for you to think about finishing the relationship. The best way to start is to re-read the letter you've sent me. You describe Yai in such negative terms that it hardly seems worth continuing as her boyfriend.

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax (02) 751 4446, or e-mail her at melaneepetra@hotmail.com.