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Published on August 1, 2007

The identities of these two arch rivals have become blended almost beyond the point of recognition.

Proclaiming himself to be "real" and taunting Democracy by saying that he is a mere imaginary force, Corruption has been trying to persuade his enemy to accept a pact. He has been insisting that every democratic system needs to embrace fraud to sustain itself, or at least tolerate it to keep opportunistic dictators at bay. He's advertising a coup-free, more pragmatic Thailand in exchange for political morality.

As Thailand moves toward its biggest "democratic" exercise since the September 19 coup last year, the demon seems unfazed and even looks stronger, while the angel remains dazed, driven on only by confused willpower.

Corruption: They will call it "Judgement Day", the media et al. I love that. I love the way balloting is always used to fool the majority into thinking that they are in control of their destiny.

Democracy: For better or worse, it will be a day for the people to speak out.

Corruption: Don't give me that ancient nonsense. Are you saying that George W Bush won an election because Americans wanted to occupy Iraq and thus aggravate their nation's woes with terrorism? And I'm talking about a mature democracy here. It's much, much worse in Thailand's case.

Democracy: I know, but what's important is the Thais are trying. I feel their will and spirit. They may be still confused, but who isn't, at this stage of the learning curve? If the referendum is going to achieve little and even widen the national rift, then so be it.

Corruption: You bet. It's billed as a choice between "you" and "me", between good and bad. But what are we anyway? Who can really tell us apart? God help those voters.

Democracy: They will decide what's good for them and make their choice, right or wrong, and they will learn.

Corruption: Back to square one yet again, aren't we? Have you forgotten that Thais already made their choice not once, but twice, the results of which were overwhelmingly in favour of that Frankie guy whose traits were strongly associated with me?

Democracy: Yes, and that man is gone. The Thai crisis is a result of you hiding behind me and me trying to shrug you off and fight you in the open. It's the price I'm willing to pay.

Corruption: A waste of time sounds more like it. Attempting to dislodge me will only lead to irony and paradox. You can't even be sure whether the referendum was a democratic exercise or a dictatorship-initiated farce. And interpreting its results will be quite entertaining.

Democracy: That's the good part - people making their choices and allowing others to interpret them. This is what prevents the country from becoming one-dimensional.

Corruption: You are damn right, and it can't get any more "diversified" than this. What are you going to call a landslide triumph for the "yes" side - a victory of the democratic spirit or a propaganda success on the part of the dictatorship? Is it part of building a good future or an endorsement of military intervention in politics?

And how are you going to describe the "no" voters? Are they voices of reasons or idealistic fools? Are they the true advocates of democracy or endorsers of corruption? Is this the kind of multi-dimensional country that you are talking about?

Democracy: Even blind votes are better than no vote at all.

Corruption: I rest my case. See which of us is the hypocrite? One minute you say blind votes are acceptable but the next minute you condemn the choice of the people if he is corrupt, abuses human rights or undermines checks and balances. If you want the best of both worlds, you will end up stuck in the nightmarish middle.

Accept me as your ally and all problems are solved; keep struggling and you'll get a coup leader as a candidate in the election and Samak Sundaravej as a democratic leader and hero, among other things.

Democracy: Samak hasn't agreed to lead the new party yet.

Corruption: But what if he does? One of the best-known ultra-rightists who rose to prominence against the backdrop of the Thammasat bloodshed is set to lead a rallying cry for freedom and liberty. Whoever is writing the Thai political script has surely gone mental.

Democracy: The chaos theory. Only democracy allows self-scrutiny and readjustment. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Corruption: My point exactly. Start adapting by embracing me before your chaos theory spreads from Thailand and plagues the whole planet. Do something before the world's top human-rights groups decide to endorse the Thai coup because the so-called greatest product of Thai democracy has acquired a British football team.

Democracy: Things wouldn't have gone this crazy if it hadn't been for the shrewd malice you've displayed.

Corruption: It takes two to tango. The expanding circus owes no less to your rigid idealism. Can't you see what happens when we fight? Come on, my friend, let's shake hands and end this absurdity.

And the World, Heaven and Hell continue to hold their breath.

Tulsathit Taptim