How guys can endure the shopping nightmare

While the girls enthusiastically hunted down that wonderful 50-per-cent discount, the guys were left standing in a cramped impromptu waiting space close to the entrance, looking like outcasts. I was lucky to be armed with a Sony handheld.

It is impossible for guys to understand how women manage to churn out the stamina to shop for hours on consecutive days. Back in my university years, I used to wince when my date said that she wanted to shop for shoes. It was like a death sentence.

When women shop for shoes, it's a voyage lasting at least several hours, spanning days and months, for the perfect shape, size and price. This meant going to essentially every single store in the Siam area, including the Siam shopping centre, the Bonanza Mall and the dreaded MBK itself. It's tearfully tormenting and soul-wrenching.

I was lucky enough to have been given the gift of patience from my mother, who used to make me wait hours at the department store while she picked out a dress. I remember scouring the entire store floor by floor for something to amuse myself. Even that wasn't enough, and I'd find myself falling asleep somewhere close to where my mother was browsing, while the saleswomen would laugh at my disposition.

Men evolve, and so did I. All the women I've been involved with were impulsive marathon shoppers, so I decided I'd have to learn to live with it.

The first trick is to be mentally ready for the task. You need to treat shopping as if you're about to run a marathon, or as if you're prepping for a serious job presentation. It's equally arduous and requires the same willpower.

The only downside to this trick is that impulsive shoppers might not tell you in advance, and you might find yourself running a marathon whether you're mentally prepared or not. Beware, for this fate has felled many strong men and broken many relationships.

When you know you're going to be in the shopping zone, prepare yourself, no matter what she says.

The second trick is to arm yourself with the proper equipment. I find that anything light and small, such as a pocketbook or a good portable gaming console, will help with the boredom. Those who like music will find the company of their MP3 players even more comforting than usual.

Be tactful about when you bring out the big guns, though: Only use them when you're in one of your girlfriend's favourite stores and you're certain she'll spend a long time there. Otherwise, you might look up to see an impatient and annoyed girlfriend exactly when you were about to post a high score.

The final trick is to go with the flow. Learn to be a shopping addict too, and you might understand her world a little better. There are limitations to this, because men will never enjoy shopping as much as women do, but letting her pick out some of your clothes and replacing your old shabby wardrobe really can't hurt.

Breathe in and out, and accept that this is going to be a part of your relationship. All women are cursed to shop, and the curse becomes yours when you're with her.

Comments on this column can be sent to relations@nationgroup.com.