Failing mobile-phone manners a global problem

Mobile Obtuse Behaviour Syndrome (Mobs) is spreading rapidly across the globe. Anyone in possession of a mobile phone is susceptible to the condition.

It plunges people into a frazzled state of unawareness. Mobs manifests itself in at least four separate strains:

Mobs Factor A causes mobile-phone users to become motionless, say, in the middle of narrow pavements or at the very end of moving walkways, totally oblivious of the people behind toppling onto one another.

Mobs Factor B attacks phone users who prefer to talk while on the move.

It inflicts them with a sudden inability to walk in a straight line.

They lurch from left to right and right to left, instinctively ensuring that they block anyone attempting to overtake them on either side. In the near future, Factor B is widely expected to lead to "pavement rage" - an offshoot of "road rage".

Mobs Factor C besets mobile-phone users stricken with high levels of their own self-importance. Usually occurring in quiet environments, it causes them to yell into their technological knick-knack with absolutely no regard for the boredom being inflicted on those forced to listen.

Mobs Factor D usually occurs during one-on-one conversations, the second party being suddenly discarded (generally mid-sentence) in favour of the apparently more important incoming call.

Moments of extreme intimacy may be similarly disrupted with possible dire consequences! Frequent recipients of this appallingly rude behaviour are increasingly likely to experience emotional disturbance, particularly feelings of rejection.

Other Mobs factors are currently undergoing research and await classification.

Mobs is unstoppable, and we are all in very great danger of being "Mobbed" at any time!

How many "Mobs moments" have you experienced today?

John Shepherd

Bangkok