Hardly a month has gone by without some news about a crackdown on foreigners with Mickey-Mouse qualifications to teach English.

Let us today however, have a look at the local Thai teachers. While stories of foreign teachers/child molesters have made national headlines, the equally disturbing stories of Thai male teachers taking advantage of their students make the back page - obviously due to the fact that such indecencies are absolutely nothing new. If the culprits are unlucky, they may get kicked out of the civil service. And I specifically mention civil-servant teachers, as they are held in high respect within Thai society, and are often allowed to get away with more than their peers.

A lot of foreign teachers spend their time in the teachers' room listening to tales from their Thai counterparts about their wonderful post-graduate degrees. As a Thai-to-English translator, I cannot recall just how many master's degree theses I have translated for these teachers. Whenever I asked for specific details related to the research, they hadn't a clue and it was quite obvious that they hadn't done any of the work themselves. In fact, this is a normality in Thailand. Even though there may be very few Thai teachers walking around with suspect accredited credentials, there are quite a number who did virtually nothing to get their degrees besides attend the exams - should they fail, just try again.

According to a very reliable source of mine working in education, 50 per cent of civil-servant teachers are "unwilling to change" - they prefer to adhere to their ancient style of memorisation and that grades begot in class are of the utmost importance. I'm sure that there are plenty of foreign English teachers out there who have been completely bewildered as to why their supposedly smart grade 11 kids on being asked, "How old are you?" reply "I am fine thank you, and you?"

Those who are against education reforms feel that way because of self-security, idleness, or the benefits that are derived from teaching privates etc. Upcountry teachers in particular often earn more cash teaching kids at home than in the classroom, and even though it is against Education Ministry regulations, their houses are packed at the weekend and on evenings with kids completing their homework with the teacher's help - thus guaranteeing a decent grade. You can call it corruption.

Many civil-servant teachers on meeting their foreign counterparts can't wait to tell them about their low salaries of say Bt15,000 a month. What they do forget to mention however is their "rank pay", "relocation pay", "accommodation allowance' and "bonus pay" etc, which actually means they are raking in double the amount quoted. Above that, in comparison to foreign teachers, they receive all the benefits of the job and also a nice secure pension. Also unlike their foreign counterparts, should they do a rather pathetic job and spend half their day sitting around eating fruit and not attending to work with the flimsy excuse of "I must to go the bank" - they are never going to get the sack.

The Education Ministry has ordered that there is to be absolutely no payment of donations for school admissions this summer - that is, no tea money. They just have to be dreaming if they think the country's prestigious schools, both government and private, are seriously going to adhere to such a regulation. Without such donations, especially for private schools, just how are they going to pay for their latest statue, gold engraved plaque and swanky fountain?

In Thai there is saying for it, which goes, "Sprinkle on the parsley" - it doesn't matter how bad the actual thing is, just make sure it looks good on the outside.

A school may spend a few million baht on some kind of fancy pompous meeting hall, but when it comes to purchasing basic teaching essentials such as a simple cassette player or a decent photocopying machine - well, that is a matter for another day.

Much has been said about the standard of English teaching here, but how about the hordes of Thai teachers whose only lesson plan for the past 25 years has been, "Okay, open your book on page 31". Many foreign teachers, both male and female, must have been perplexed about the strict code of behaviour they are expected to adhere to such as, "Don't smoke, drink or bite you nails, even if it is your own leisure time, within a 500-metre radius of the school". In fact, Thai teachers expect a squeaky-clean moral standard from their foreign counterparts. As for the Thai male teachers, they can get completely plastered on alcohol, start a huge brawl and go home to their minor wives every night, and nothing is said. Should the foreigner attempt any such nonsensical behaviour he will be booted out the back door before he knows what hit him.

Talking about strict codes of behaviour, many Thai teachers, especially female ones, spend half of their day complaining to their girls about their haircuts and the length of their skirts. In fact, according to regulations, the girl will be punished more for a non-regulation haircut than bunking off school. Corporal punishment is now illegal in Thailand but some teachers have creative ways of bending the law, asking question along the lines of "Do you want me to hit you?"

I guess everyone has noticed that a lot of civil-servant English teachers, who despite earning Bt30,000 baht a month, can't even put a basic sentence together and still enjoy teaching their kids that lemonade and lemon juice are the same thing.

As for some of the examination papers that they have to prepare themselves, they are often flooded with inaccuracies. Again, should the foreign teacher dare cause the Thai teacher to lose face by being critical about their standard of English, he will have his probationary contract cut short… period.

Thai teachers may complain about their foreign counterparts, but a lot of the time having a foreign teacher in a school is just another opportunity for the school to look prestigious and make money - where all of that money goes, nobody ever seems to find out. Very handsome profits are made at fancy schools through the costs of lunch, uniforms, bags, passenger-van service and "holiday educational camps". Again, if a student decides against attending such events, his grade for the year won't be looking too hot.

I hate to say it, but unless the authorities take a serious look at the system and actually enforce the existing regulations, there isn't going to be much of an improvement for the next 50 years. And for the sake of the children, the brains of the future, any Thai teacher, and especially civil servants, who do not meet expectations ought to be given the red card, just like your average foreign teacher would in the same case.

Stephen Cleary

The Nation

Suphan Buri

Stephen Cleary is the co-founder of www.thai-blogs.com. He can be contacted at stevesuphan@gmail.com.