Like many other Muslims we are worried about violence, promiscuity, the divide between rich and poor, corruption, discrimination, intolerance, etc. We are not in favour, however, of turning the Koran or other religious scriptures into laws.

The few negative reactions that we received on our article "Polygamy: what women want from marriage?" focused on the fact that we dared question the relevance of sharia laws for contemporary life. Laws everywhere in the world are in a constant process of change and have to be, because society is in a constant process of change. Sharia laws that were developed in the Middle East 1,500 years ago simply cannot be transplanted to Indonesia today.

We are dealing with completely different issues and we live together with people who have different faiths. Also, there are too many different interpretations of the Koran, making sharia laws ambiguous. What we have to hold on to however is the spirit behind the difference that Islam was able to make 1,500 years ago.

In Bedouin society 1,500 years ago, polygamy was widespread and most women only had the choice of becoming a wife or a concubine. The Prophet Muhammad recognised the unfairness and the hardships that this caused to many women and urged men to restrain themselves, have fewer wives and treat their wives fairly.

That to us is the essence of Islam, restraint and fairness, and not the fact that, there and then, having four wives was socially acceptable or practical because of a skewed male-female ratio. We do not say that monogamy is a guarantee of faithfulness, but monogamy, as compared with polygamy, is fairer to women and is more in line with the self-restraint preached by Islam and therefore deserves the support of Muslims.

One of the men who reacted to our article pointed out: " ... no way a bachelor will consider taking a widow as his first wife ...."

Sadly it seems that a majority of men still feel this way and widows are considered to be blemished and can only expect to become second choice at best. The Prophet Muhammad, however, showed that there is nothing wrong with marrying a widow. That to us is the essence of Islam: commitment and compassion, regardless of prejudices and social and cultural barriers.

Many see sharia law as a solution for the problems that modern Indonesia is facing. The fact is, however, that there are good laws in Indonesia for most of its problems, and many of these laws are founded on principles that Islam shares with other religions: personal integrity and restraint, fairness, respect for fellow human beings, other religions and other nations.

The problems that we are facing in everyday life are not so much legal problems, but rather ones of personal integrity. That should be the focus of our religion: changing peoples hearts. We should not view the Koran as a law that needs to be enforced or as a political colour, but as an inspiration for Muslims to be pious, peaceful, honest and just, in spite of all the problems and temptations around us and regardless of perceived shortcomings of others.

History has repeatedly shown that turning religion into law and punishing people for different ways of thinking and worshipping does not make people, religion or society any better, on the contrary it makes them worse.

Already, attempts to turn Islam into a law that is beyond discussion and supersedes national and international laws has led to intolerance, oppression and excessive cruelty and violence, not only toward people of other religions, but also among Muslims. Attempts to politicise Islam seem to have made Muslims turn a blind eye to oppression and atrocities committed by other Muslims, some sadly in the name of Islam.

In the midst of lengthy debates about Koranic verses and political problems, we seem to have lost track of the essence of our religion. It is not for nothing that the period where the same happened with Christianity in Europe is referred to as the Dark Ages, and it is not for nothing that thousands of people have willingly chosen untold suffering and death in their fight against this.

If we study what happened in Europe during the Dark Ages and allow ourselves to draw parallels with what is happening now in Indonesia and the rest of the Muslim world, we will be able to catch a glimpse of what lies ahead of us if we keep pursuing the introduction of sharia law.

If only we can make ourselves see past the many things that are wrong with society in Europe, we can come to appreciate that Muslims throughout Europe are still allowed to practice their religion and build houses of worship. Despite widespread prejudice and discrimination against Muslims, which has escalated because of the many terrible crimes committed in the name of Islam, most governments in Europe have firmly upheld freedom of religion and separation of state and religion as fundamental human rights.

Let us preserve these rights in Indonesia and let us speak out more clearly against any form of force, suppression or violence committed in the name of Islam. To us that is the real "jihad" that we Muslims in Indonesia have to take up, not only for the sake of other religions and national unity, but also to preserve the integrity of our own religion and our children.

The Jakarta Post is a member of the Asia News Network.

Malgalina Avianty

Cornelis de Wolf

The Jakarta Post

JAKARTA