I'm extremely reluctant to take any action because I've lived in Thailand just for six months. I can barely speak Thai, let understand the complexities of the Thai culture.

I teach in a Thai girls' school. I'm the only foreigner, but most of the teachers speak excellent English, and they've been a great support, offering me their friendship and helping me as I slowly adjust to an unfamiliar curriculum and a different way of teaching students.

One of the teachers (I'll call her "B") has been extremely friendly. She's older than I am, and I've noticed that the other teachers defer to her.

She's the longest-serving teacher at this school. She teaches courses in science and maths.

Before the holidays, B set a series of exams for all her students. She told them that if they didn't pass the exams, they would receive a failing mark for the term.

The morning of the exams, I saw one of her students weeping in a corner. Her friends were surrounding her and trying to comfort her, but she would not be comforted and wept even harder. I know this girl. She comes from the South and has been boarding at the school for three years. She's 15 years old. I like this kid, who's friendly, out-going and extremely hard working.

Then B came up to me. She looked extremely cold and angry. She told me that the girl was crying because her father had passed away the night before.

Then B said, "I told her that she was stupid to weep so much because of her father. He was just a man, and all men are worthless."

The poor girl didn't attend classes that day. She just stayed in a corner while her friends attended class. B wouldn't allow her to go home to attend her father's funeral, and she tells me that she still hasn't decided whether to allow the girl to take the exams later or to fail her.

When the subject of this girl comes up in our conversations, I haven't been able to say anything. B's cruelty and heartlessness are beyond my understanding.

Dear Khun Melanee, please tell me if, in Thai culture, it is really permissible for a teacher to behave in this way towards a student - a student who is just a child?

In addition, please, please, please, don't use my name or reveal the name of the school.

X

Dear X,

What a terrible thing to say to anyone, let alone a child! Nowhere in Thai culture is such cruelty condoned!

In fact, it isn't the decision of the teacher but of the headmistress (or principal) and the parent whether a child should be allowed to go to her father's funeral. The child may not have returned to her home for other reasons not related to B's cruelty.

I suspect that B was trying to make the student (and you too) think that she's all-powerful at this school. I wonder about her mental stability.

Perhaps she has been teaching too long and should change her means of employment, preferably to a job that doesn't involve children or other helpless creatures.

My dear Melanee,

I must take exception to the comments you and your correspondent Jay made last week regarding hiring a man and wife.

You both basically said that anyone who brought a couple into the same office was asking for trouble.

You two must be living in some sort of la-la land where no alliances between staff members, sexual or otherwise, are ever formed.

I can only wonder what sort of work environment you prefer - something sterile and emotionless, I suppose.

For the record, I've hired couples before, just ensuring that their office responsibilities didn't overlap.

In every case, the husband and wife have shown themselves to be diligent, reliable people. In cases where relationships were formed in the office, however, some have been successful in terms of the company's needs and some have not.

Kindly cease making generalisations which are faulty and misdirected, to say the least.

Bud

Dear Khun Bud,

I'm not sure about Khun Jay, but I certainly stand corrected - although I must say, your experiences in hiring married couples have been much

happier than what I've seen in other companies.

 By Melanee petra