My husband and I aren't very rich, but my husband has a relative (the son of his great-uncle), and this man lost all his money by making bad business decisions. A few years ago, he came to my husband and begged for Bt1 million to start his company. At first we had to refuse. It was all our savings.

However, he kept asking. Finally, he actually wept. He said he was worried about his family. They couldn't survive without this money.

My husband finally lent him the money, and after a year or so, he had his company working successfully. Then, we heard that he had some good luck.

He found some partners who were willing to invest a lot in his company. He was able to expand his business. Now many people consider him as a rich man.

He has never repaid the money he borrowed. My husband has never reminded him, and he never signed a contract or anything, so I guess the money is "gone with the wind".

I just think of how weak and sad he seemed when he needed the money. Now he's very proud, and he never thinks of the past. I'm sure he worked hard to make his company successful. He just hasn't worked very hard to pay back old debts.

Even though he's my husband's relative, I consider his character to be very bad.

Please sign me:

X

Dear X,

You may think your relative is rich now, but in fact, he may not be. Although the company may be doing very well, you don't know how much he actually makes. He may not yet have the money to repay you.

The best way to find out about his financial situation is for your husband to ask him. Then you'll know for sure.

Dear Khun Melanee,

I'm writing you from my university in the States. I came here two years ago to continue my education. Before I left, my boyfriend and I got engaged. We plan to get married in two years, after I earn my degree.

During my first year, I was very unhappy. I was never away from home before, and my English wasn't very good. My parents chose this university because there aren't many students from Thailand. They wanted me to learn about America and American culture.

However, our gang of Thais is very close. We try to help one another.

One evening, we went out drinking. I'm not used to taking so much alcohol. One of the boys took me back to my flat, and somehow, we ended up sleeping together.

When I woke up the next morning and I saw the boy in bed with me,

I was very ashamed. I love my boyfriend very much. I have never thought about being with another man. It only happened one time, and now this boy and I are just friends. But I still feel very bad.

Now my boyfriend phoned me to tell me that he's coming to the States to be with me until I complete my studies. I miss him a lot, but now I'm worried.

I'm afraid that somehow he'll find out what I did last year.

Sometimes I think I should tell him what I did. Other times, I think I should keep silent. Sometimes, I even think I should break off the engagement.

If I did such a thing, doesn't it mean that I don't love my boyfriend very much?

Dear Khun Melanee, what do you think?

Jiew

Dear Khun Jiew,

My dear, it doesn't matter what I think. The main thing is what kind of relationship you and your boyfriend have.

In some relationships, the partners tell each other everything. In other relationships, at least one (or both) of the partners keeps secrets that would otherwise affect the relationship.

Just be careful. Sometimes people confess a wrong simply because they feel guilty, and they think that once they tell, the wrong will go away. Please think about how your boyfriend would feel if you told him what you had done.

Myself, if you forgot yourself only once and you'll never do it again, except with your boyfriend, I'd keep quiet. I'd also stay away from the alcohol, if I were you.

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax her at

(02) 751 4446, or e-mail melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra