To Mark, this relationship is better than most he's had in the past, and he feels they have a bright future. Give it some time, and it could lead to marriage. It's perfect.

Well, almost.

Jen is from Taiwan, and Mark from America. They met while she was attending college in Florida and quickly fell for each other.

They never saw their different cultural backgrounds as a problem - until a few weeks ago when Jen learned that she had to leave the US soon because her student visa was expiring.

And here's the rub: Mark doesn't believe in long-distance relationships.

As Mark's personal shrink, I was on the phone with him for more than an hour, listening to him fretting. He was once engaged to a girl who lived hundreds of kilometres away from him, and it just didn't work out.

He doesn't feel he can manage this time, either.

Fair enough. Maintaining any relationship is difficult, let alone a long-distance one.

But I do believe it can work if you're really in love.

Mark said this relationship is too young, even though he feels he knows Jen really well. Obviously that isn't enough to keep it going for him.

I let Mark yap about his crisis and whether he should break up with Jen for a while.

Then I started feeling that a long-distance relationship was not the problem here.

"So, do you love Jen?" I asked.

"Well, I like her a lot, but I'm not sure if I can call it love, since it's only been a year," Mark replied.

"There are differences between the two words, you know?" I said.

"I know - but I don't know. I really, really like her. I don't think it's a good idea to correspond back and forth across the Pacific Ocean. It will never work!"

"Well, then, maybe Jen isn't worth fighting for, huh?"

"Er, did I mention I like her?"

Mark was silent for a long moment.

I happen to know that Mark feels he's not ready for a committed relationship, even if he claims he really likes Jen. But "like"?

I like a lot of people - my boss, neighbours, co-workers, etc. "Like" can be applied to a lot of things, people and even locations. Liking someone doesn't mean you really want to be with that person.

Love means you know strongly in your heart that you need a relationship, a girlfriend, a boyfriend and so on. You not only want it - you need it. There are also differences between wanting and needing, but heck, what does Mark know?

This may sound cheesy, but if Mark really needs Jen in his life, I don't think this long-distance relationship is a deal breaker. At least he should try, and if at some point Jen doesn't feel the same way, that will be a whole different story.

But to give up before trying? That means Mark only wants Jen - he doesn't need her.

So I was blunt with my friend. I told him that their long-distance relationship, if it happens, would likely fail because of his mentality. I'm sure he'll be able to find another girl to "like" again in the near future.

Not that I don't believe in relationships succeeding over long distances, but why go through all the trouble when you don't need it? Long-distance relationships will work if the couple know exactly what they want, and what direction they're heading.

Long-distance relationships will never work if you have no idea where they're going, and aren't sure if you can live with it.

Mark has been telling himself it will never work. It will never work, then.

Believe me - I've been there.

Comments on this column can be sent to relations@nationgroup.com.