Now my boss has just hired someone to help us with our work. This woman is in her 40s. She's worked in many companies during her career. At first we thought she would be a very good worker because she's had a lot of experience, but now we understand why she has moved around so much.

She is very sensitive to smells, sounds, light, etc. If someone uses even a touch of perfume, she complains loudly and refuses to work until we wash it off, or try to wash it off. She says it gives her a headache. If the aircon is on, she complains that it's too cold. If we turn it off, she complains that it's too hot. If we open a window, she complains it's too dusty.

Since she's older than the rest of us, we try to keep her satisfied - and quiet - but it's almost impossible.

Now the good atmosphere in our office has turned bad. Her loud complaining is making us all very stressed. We've tried talking to our boss about the problem, but he just says not to worry. Everything will be okay.

I think he hired this woman as a favour to one of his friends, and he doesn't want to fire her because then his friend will be upset.

We want our happy atmosphere to return, but with this woman, we have no hope. Do you have any suggestions for us?

Not a Happy Gang

Dear Not,

It's a bit surprising, isn't it, that a new employee would immediately try to dominate the other staff. Usually, a newcomer does her best to "fit in" with everyone else. It may be true that this woman is really sensitive to her environment, and she becomes ill very easily. She could handle the situation differently, but, in addition, she doesn't seem to care about developing good relationships with her colleagues. Such a person really shouldn't work in an office environment. It would be much better if she started her own business and worked out of her own home, if it were possible.

My suggestion is to listen to your boss. Even if he hired this woman as a favour for a friend, he knows that it's more than likely that your problem will be solved soon. She may be as sensitive as she claims, but she may also be looking for an excuse to find another job. At any rate, she doesn't sound as if she's going to be a long-term employee in your company.

Dear Khun Melanee,

May I ask you for your advice on a point of etiquette? Last week, my embassy held a big party. My husband and I invited the couple in the flat next door to join us. They've just arrived in Thailand, and we thought they could make some new friends, or at least enjoy themselves. Since they were our guests, we paid for their tickets.

The party was very big, with lots of "lucky draws". Our guests ended up winning two of the top draws. Both of their prizes were gift baskets with lots of expensive and unique products.

My husband and I were very happy that they won the prizes, but we were rather surprised. Wouldn't it have been polite for this couple to offer us, their hosts, some of the things in the baskets, maybe not the most expensive items, but a token of appreciation for our hospitality? Instead, they whisked their "booty" into their flat, and we haven't seen them since.

My husband and I don't care that much whether we got something from the baskets or not, but I think this couple was very rude. My husband just shrugs. What do you think, Khun Melanee?

Barb

Dear Khun Barb,

Of course, not to offer you anything was impolite, but it's quite possible that the couple, being new to Bangkok, had no idea how expensive or special the items were in the baskets. They may also have been so excited about winning something that they simply forgot about good manners.

At least you now know a little bit about them. As my Dear Mother used to say, "How a person handles bad luck shows his strength. How he handles good luck shows his character."

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax (02) 751 4446, or e-mail her at melaneepetra@hotmail.com.