On pay day, we like to go out for lunch. There aren't many good restaurants around our office, so we go to a very small restaurant about 20 or 30 minutes away. The food is okay and at least it has air-conditioning.

The waitress used to be a man, but now he is a she. In fact, she's quite good-looking. She's also very polite and carries out her duties as a waitress very well.

The problem is that one of our colleagues likes to flirt with her. At first, it was harmless fun. He would just say, "How beautiful you are today" and "You look so fresh today". However, then he started drinking during lunchtime. The rest of us don't drink.

Now, he can finish three or four bottles of beer all by himself. His face and eyes get red, and his joking is no longer harmless. The last time, he tried to touch this waitress in an inappropriate way. She didn't say anything, but I'm sure she felt as embarrassed as the rest of us did.

We don't know what to do. This colleague is the only man in our group and we don't feel comfortable talking to him about his impolite behaviour.

Now, we can't even have lunch together at any other time because he always talks about this waitress, even when we try to change the topic. Once one of us tried to scold him about his conversation, and he accused her of being gay and being in love with the waitress.

Can you give us some advice about this problem? Thank you.

LT

Dear LT,

It would be very easy to psychoanalyse your colleague and talk about his problems with his sexuality. More to the point, however, are the problems you are having with his rudeness and inappropriate behaviour.

Confronting him about this behaviour - even gently - will not be productive, as you've already found out. He's quite   capable of being insensitive and hurtful towards you and your colleagues. His responses will permanently poison the atmosphere in your workplace.

You might try telling him that you've decided to make your monthly lunch a "girls-only" get-together. Why go back to that restaurant anyway? You don't seem to like it that much. Surely there is another restaurant you can go to, even a noodle shop. In addition, if you change your restaurant, I have a feeling that the waitress will be extremely grateful.

Dear Khun Melanee,

I don't understand that woman ("See-Lee") who lost Bt50,000 when she was pickpocketed. Doesn't she realise that that amount of money is what some people earn in a month, if they're lucky? There are lots of other people in Thailand who don't see Bt50,000 in one year.

Losing the money was a big thing, of course, but See-Lee has enough money to hire a lawyer to force the supermarket to reimburse her! Does she live in the real world? I have never heard of a supermarket being held responsible when someone has been pickpocketed!

You should stop publishing letters from rich people in your column. They don't have a good sense of reality.

Marayad

Dear Khun Marayad,

Perhaps money is the key factor in acquiring a sense of reality, but I doubt it. As far as I can see, having a lot of discretionary income has never been related to common sense, which See-Lee seems to lack, along with a sense of responsibility. By carrying that amount in a backpack, she was putting herself at risk.

Dear Readers,

Here are some modern sayings that a reader sent me:

l He who laughs last thinks slowest.

l The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

l Borrow money from a pessimist - he won't expect it back.

l If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

l The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

l Two wrongs are only the beginning.

l Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener!

l Eagles may soar, but mice don't get sucked into airplane engines.

l Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

l When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way!

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax (02) 751 4446, or e-mail her at: melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra