I forget what it was like when I was in my teens. All of a sudden I fail to remember how I spent my years in college. I can't even recall the first time my heart was broken.

Things started to change when my mom asked me to call my little brother.

My brother Tan is almost eight years younger than me. He is a pretty good-looking guy, according to my friends of course, with two dimples on both cheeks. He will graduate from law school in a year. With Tan's sense of humour, appearance, and his Mercedes, he has no problem attracting girls.

To me, he is a lucky young man.

At least that's what I thought until the night I called him. Tan told me he had moved into my parents' bedroom, temporarily. He told me that life was depressing and that he felt alone and adrift. Tan had begun sleeping side by side with mom and dad - never mind that he is really too old to be doing that anymore.

Tan recently had his heart broken for the first time.

As his older sister, I attempted to be a good listener. Pim, Tan's ex-girlfriend, told him that she was breaking up with him because of her parents' disapproval of their relationship.

To Tan, Pim is the best - the most gorgeous, understanding and precious gift that God had sent him. She is a good listener, a great friend and companion. He thinks she is "the one", the person who matches him best. But her parents want her to fully concentrate on studying. No boys allowed.

Tan fully believes Pim's reason for breaking up with him. He is confident that it wasn't because of another guy. He is sure that Pim would have never cheated on him.

Right. Wow. I cannot find the right words to tell him, cannot find the best way to express my feelings. I find myself thinking that my brother is slower than I thought he would be. How can he be so sure that his girlfriend had told him everything about why she was breaking up with him? What does he really know about her feelings concerning him? I ask myself these questions over and over while he is whining.

I wait, wait and wait. I'm yearning for him to ask my opinion.

"So what do you think?" thank God, he finally asks.

"She is lying. Parents never successfully stop their kids from seeing the person they love," I said. "Never ever."

"That was an excuse Tan," I can't keep my mouth shut now. "Think about it, if you really like someone, would you stop dating them just because mom and dad ask you too?"

"Would you just tell that person to get out, and end a two-year relationship right on the spot? Probably not. So what she has told you is a load of bull."

I remember going on and on for a while. During our phone conversation, I recall how in college I once fell hard for this stupid guy. I used to be a stupid 21-year-old. Now I am turning 30 and I feel much older.

Tan fights back during this phone conversation. Pim does not lie, he says. To Tan, Pim just needs a break - a long break. To me, Tan is hallucinating.

It's been over three months now since the break-up. Several times since my phone call with Tan, my parents have called, imploring me to ask him to move back into his own room.

Perhaps my parents can't relate to Tan's problem since it's been too long ago since they felt such raw emotions. They tell me that since I am younger, I should be better able to relate to Tan and give him useful advice.

So I thought about it and concluded that I had no useful memories to draw on when giving advice, even though for sure I had experienced similar heartbreak. Perhaps they're buried too deeply or I've just moved on. At any rate, I feel that I just can't relate to Tan. So I propose to my mom, "I don't know mom, Kam [my younger sister] may be a better person to talk to Tan. Remember mom, Kam is much younger than me."

By Pondering