I'm a university senior. I am studying as hard as I can so that I can continue my studies in the UK or US next year.

I have lots of friends, but I've decided not to have a boyfriend yet. My education is too important to me. Moreover, my parents asked me not to get involved with a boy yet. They want me to concentrate on my education too.

Recently, a boy joined one of my seminars. I think he transferred from another university. I know him a little bit because we went to the same secondary school, but we never even spoke. He went with a different crowd.

He had a girlfriend who was a "wild" girl and not a very good student. My friends used to tease me about him because my name was the same as his girlfriend's. Even our nicknames were similar! We also looked similar to each other, but I think she was prettier.

Although I barely know this boy, he's been coming up to me and speaking to me as if I were his old girlfriend. I guess he hasn't seen her in a long time.

I've explained to him many times that I am not this girl, but he acts as if he doesn't hear me. He just keeps talking to me as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Most of the time, I am with my friends, but yesterday I was having lunch by myself in the cafeteria and he sat beside me. He began saying things to me that were very intimate. I didn't know what to do, so I just stopped eating and left. He started to follow me out, but I saw some of my friends and ran to them.

Although he hasn't done anything bad to me, I don't like him, and I don't think he's a good person. Also, he's impolite and maybe stupid too.

Now I'm beginning to think that if I just sit with this boy and talk frankly to him, he'll finally understand that I'm not his ex and leave me alone.

My friends disagree. They say that something is wrong with his mind and I should avoid him. I don't know. I just want him to stop bothering me.

Khun Melanee, do you agree with my friends or with me?

Gee

Dear Khun Gee,

Your description of this boy's actions towards you are extremely worrying. Before I started writing this reply, I tried to think of reasons for his behaviour.

It's possible that he made a mistake the first time and really thought you were his former girlfriend. When you explained, he should have then excused himself, and, if he wished to start a friendship with you, he could have changed the subject.

He hasn't changed the subject, however, and he obviously refuses to accept the fact that you're not his former girlfriend.

I agree with your friends - and your instincts. There's no way that sitting down with him and talking to him will persuade him to leave you alone.

Instead, by paying him attention, you will end up by encouraging him to continue approaching you. Those intimate comments he made to you could very easily intensify.

My dear, I can't emphasise enough how dangerous this boy seems to me. Do your best to avoid him.

Dear Khun Melanee,

Jake's complaints last week about the girl he invited to dinner really made me laugh. He expected her to behave like a Western girl just because she spoke English fluently. What an idiot!

Jake says he expected a pleasant night out, but who knows what the girl expected? A chance for her to practise her English, perhaps?

Instead of complaining that the girl and the friend she brought along spent most of the time "jabbering in Thai", Jake should have taken the opportunity to learn a little bit of the language spoken in the country in which he lives and w orks.

He obviously thought that the girl would be overwhelmed by his largesse. How self-involved can you get?

Bill

Dear Khun Bill,

It's true that people - both men and women - might have expectations that are not always fulfilled. I do feel, however, that you're being too harsh with Jake. He must be rather lonely, don't you think, to invite a girl he barely knows to dinner simply because she's beautiful and speaks English well. He must have been expecting a relaxing evening. How disappointed he must have felt.

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax (02) 751 4446, or email her at: melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra