When I woke up I thanked the heavens, because facing those three months of trying to emotionally patch myself up was the last thing any man could ever wish to do.

While the nightmare may have been caused by watching too many romantic dramas the evening before, it hit me how man's pursuit of the perfect girlfriend has resulted in so much unhappiness.

Buddhism teaches us to let go and follow the middle path, but as relationships go, that could be problematic.

If we kept following the middle path, how on earth would we be able to achieve the heights of happiness? We'd just be going through our lives without taking any risks, not achieving anything, and finally dying - unscathed but unfulfilled.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Even though, technically, the pursuit of a relationship probably classifies as greed, taking some notes from Buddhism on how to pursue happiness would probably absolve us of some of our worst romantic nightmares.

Men are conditioned through the media, society and the science of evolution to go for the prettiest, most shapely and intelligent women we can find. We're trained throughout our lives to find "the one".

Once we set in our mind that some girl we meet fulfils all the criteria, it's somehow etched in our logical head that she's the one.

Beauty and form are vain, while intelligence is easily converted into ego. If you don't believe me, ask the myriad doctorate students surrounding me who turn up their noses at anything they even slightly don't agree with.

They aren't that nerdy looking, either, and barring their ego, might look rather attractive. As I see it, they are both vain and really not that intelligent.

Having a beautiful and intelligent girlfriend does not necessarily make you happy. Ideally, you'll just fall in love with someone you're destined to be with, but most of us are probably too emotionally damaged by modern society to even fathom how that could happen.

For the majority of us who don't know what the heck love is, here's a tip: When you're looking to get into a relationship, first look at the morals and values of the woman. A great indicator for Thai women is the way she treats her parents.

Then, see how much of a materialist and rationalist she is. If she's a lover of luxury items and money, there's a good chance she could rationalise leaving you for someone richer.

Similarly, if she's with you because she thinks you're intelligent, she could also leave you for someone more intelligent and with a brighter future. It's the same if she's with you because you're handsome.

Finally, take a closer look at yourself. Chances are you've got your morals and values all wrong. If you're like most people, you're probably a materialist and a rationalist. That makes you vain, egoistic and calculating, among other things.

It follows logically that the perfect girlfriend isn't the prettiest, shapeliest and most intelligent. She'd probably be the most "Buddhist", whether or not her passport says so. She would treat her parents well, be modest and lack material needs.

Regardless of what she looks like, this kind of person would simply be blissful to be with.

But ideally, don't rationalise relationships - or we'll always be able to think of a reason why we shouldn't be in one.

By Ultimate Oink