Don't get me wrong. I appreciate these services. As a long-staying expat, I remember with shudders the time it used to take to get from one point of the capital to another. Even a taxi would take hours to get from Sukhumvit to New Road. Farangs who've just arrived don't know how much better it is now.

However, I feel things could improve, with some help from the public.

In the Skytrain and Underground, the newly installed TV-things in the carriages, despite their terrible noise, are not as irksome to me as the discomfort caused by thoughtless passengers.

Isn't it common sense to let other passengers disembark before you pile into a carriage? Instead, people stand right in front of the doors, blocking those who want to get off. It would be so much more logical to let the passengers off first before others get on.

Inside the carriage, there are passengers who lean with their entire back against one of the poles so that no one else can hold on to it. How selfish can you get?

I won't speak of the bicycles and baby carriages that people push into a carriage - these people have to travel some way - but I must say that people who are carrying a lot of packages shouldn't put them right in front of the doors.

If they must buy a lot, at least they can put some of it on their laps or, if they're standing, between their feet, so that other passengers don't trip over bags and boxes.

Finally, there are those people who feel that they must start punching a number on their cell phones as soon as they disembark and start going down the stairs. Apart from the inconvenience caused by the way they slow down, don't they know how dangerous that is? They could trip and fall very easily.

A little thoughtfulness on the part of those who use these fine services would go a long way to making the services comfortable for all.

JK

Dear JK,

Thank you for your observations, but I wonder what it will take before people stop thinking of only themselves.

Dear Khun Melanee,

Your reply to "Chai" last week ignored some very strong undercurrents that were apparent in his letter. For one thing, he's obviously gay. Could his friends from upcountry have acted so coldly to him and his boyfriend because they were uncomfortable with the situation?

I myself have suffered at the hands of those I once considered friends. In my own country, I didn't know I was a homosexual. I just knew I was uncomfortable with myself. I even got married and fathered a child, although I was already divorced when my company sent me to Thailand. It was here in this country that I discovered my true self.

As soon as I understood that I was, in fact, gay, I wrote to my family and friends. Some replied with full support. Some said they didn't understand but they still loved me. Some never replied at all.

A few friends in this last category have shown up in Bangkok, and I've offered them all the hospitality I could. At first, I thought they wanted to give me their support in person, but it became obvious they were just using me as a free hotel. They were not as impolite as Chai's friends were, but they seemed happy to get away as soon as they could.

I've decided that if a person shows up from my hometown and hasn't indicated beforehand support for my lifestyle, I will no longer be available for free food and lodging.

Thank you for giving me the chance to get this off my chest.

David

Dear Khun David,

You would know your friends better than I do, but it seems to me that your decision to require written support might be closing doors that would be better left open.

Of course, the experience was extremely painful. On the other hand, some of your other friends may not have written because they don't know how to write to you under these circumstances, but are nevertheless happy for you - but if you refuse to see them, you'll never know, will you?

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax her at (02) 751 4446, or e-mail melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra