I am not sure whether this is supposed to be a greeting or a farewell. It could be both, though, because while we've never talked before, I may not have a chance to write again. No, I'm not going anywhere, but you might be. Politics is funny, huh? Although you may not be laughing, for obvious reasons.

I was tempted to write a long time ago, when you made that world-renowned statement about me in December 2003. "Democracy is not my goal," you said. In your opinion, one "can't drive a Rolls-Royce to a rural village and fix people's problems", and there are times when "a pickup or good off-road vehicle will do". I was said to be just a "tool", something that was "good and beautiful" but which should not be the nation's ultimate aspiration.

Great speech! But here's my take: you don't miss the water until the well runs dry. It seems the Sanam Luang crowd and the opposition bloc don't want to use a Rolls-Royce at the moment, either.

I must confess that the election boycott hurts me like hell, but let me tell you a little secret: I've gone through this kind of "surgery" before, in other countries with leaders like you.

I'm not one to harbour a grudge. In fact, I'm the most accommodating and forgiving of the lot. Check out my counterparts like Fascism or Communism or even Socialism. Yes, you might have flourished with some of them, but when it comes to downfall, you would never find a place for a soft landing. My point, however, is that the leader of a socialist or communist country could be hanged if he insulted his nation's overriding ideology the same way you did.

I'm not boasting that I'm the best. But it pains me to be insulted by people like you, those who are given opportunities that are hard to come by in other countries, to climb from rags to riches. I had to fight back tears every time you invoked those "19 million votes" to defend your actions, knowing full well that deep in your heart, you never really appreciated my real merits and principles. Without me, your assets-concealment scandal would not have gone through the National Counter Corruption Commission, where they allowed you to defend yourself, and then the Constitution Court, where you again could defend yourself. Without me, you could have easily ended up in a summary investigation like the one launched against the Chatichai administration in 1991.

To be fair to you, I'm different things to different people. Leaders who shared your belief that I'm just a "tool", not an inspiration, have often used me as a stepping stone. Once they got what they want, they forgot all about me. They all have one thing in common though: whenever their backs were against the wall, they called for me.

I'm fed up with those losers, you know. The pattern is all too familiar. They order drug suspects or alleged militants shot in the morning, force news outlets to sack editors in the afternoon, buy off those employed in checks and balances in the evening and come to me with flowers when they have nowhere to go. They don't really know me or my essence. I'm only their springboard and last resort, nothing else.

So, don't be surprised if I act like a woman scorned from time to time. Before asking what's wrong with Thailand's "democracy", following the announced election boycott and considerable public support for it, ask yourself these questions: do you recognise the rights of the Sanam Luang demonstrators to air their disappointment with you? Do you think it's justified for your Shin Corp to sue someone for hundreds of millions of baht for simply questioning its alleged profits from government decisions? Do you honestly think it's right for the government to help provinces that supported your political party first? And when members of the public criticise you, are they "stupid", or are they just performing their duty as Thai citizens?

If you think you can break the rules, then so can I. And don't worry about me, because I can take care of myself. You can go on and complain about anything you like, but please don't pretend this is the end of me. I exist in places where they cherish and foster my real values and spirit.

You said on Monday that you had done your best. Well, sorry, my friend, your best wasn't good enough.

Goodbye from someone you never really knew,

Democracy

Tulsathit Taptim

The Nation