Published on October 25, 2005

I watched in awe as the surgeon’s knife cut into the woman on the bed, and stared aghast at the manner in which he poked at the innards of her breast to make space for silicone implants. The bloody breast turned green as the skin stretched to its new cup size.

After watching that scene on one of Britain’s many popular late-night television shows, I could only come to one conclusion: Any woman who values herself enough could never tolerate something like that done to any part of her body.

Loads of Thai women are flocking to the closest plastic surgery clinic to have all sorts of stuff done to themselves. For the petite Thai frame, breast implants are becoming cheaper than ever, with respectable boob jobs starting from as little as Bt30,000. Surely that’s not a bad deal for any woman wanting to show some cleavage.

And do we men enjoy it? Tops have never been tighter, nor cut any lower. Add this to the hipster pants coupled with tiny thongs and men can enjoy not just one, but two cleavages.

If you spend some time watching the latest Thai TV soap, you’ll notice how all the girls look similar. They’ve probably all been under the same surgeon’s knife for bigger eyes, prettier faces and cuter noses. They look so alike they might as well be cloned.

A distant acquaintance of mine, Kat, who recently underwent a breast augmentation surgery, recounted how happy she was to pay the bill.

Before the surgery, she used to have to rush off to the bathroom to take off the foam padding from her bra before she could fool around with her date.

Now, she walks around proudly exposing her cleavage.

Before I continue with Kat’s story, mark my words, gentlemen, good women do not need to have plastic surgery.

Women who feel they need bigger breasts, larger eyes or cute button noses to get their men are vain, silly girls whose brains add up to less than that of a goldfish. The fact that they value their looks over their personality, thought or character can only mean that they could never stay in a meaningful relationship for too long.

The plastic surgeons will probably respond to this by saying that for someone to feel good about herself, she should first feel good about her body.

In serious medical cases where a body is seriously defective, one might be able to swallow this argument, but in normal cases this is usually untrue. It’s the shallow, superficial, materialist and impure who willingly cut themselves up to just to look a little prettier.

Kat has had affairs with two men who were both unfaithful to her before she decided to go ahead with the surgery. Her skimpy little brain made her believe that with more cleavage, she would be able to attract faithful men.

However, the men she has met haven’t been any better, and to make matters worse, they only come to her because of her breasts more than anything else.

Once they’ve seen and handled these augmentations, they only get bored and leave. Kat still doesn’t understand that her personality fails to match the size of her new breasts.

Now I’m not saying me should stop enjoying women who’ve been to the plastic surgeon. By all means, go ahead and date her if she’s your cup of tea. Just don’t marry or make any committments. It won’t be long before you tire of her cosmetic beauty, or she finds another admirer.

Comments on this column can be sent to relations@nationgroup.com.

Post your comment to this story here